Upset the Vows - Part 7

Tim Ross | April 11, 2021

Listen

Transcription

I'm about to go into part seven of this Upset the Vows series. If you are a first-time guest, I'm so grateful you're here. I wish I could hug your neck. I think we're going to loosen up on protocols over the summer or late summer going into the fall, which I'm excited about, but until then, all we're doing is waving and doing sign language to each other. I do want to say a couple of things before I jump into today. After this weekend, the next two weeks that I teach, I'm teaching on sexuality next weekend, and then I'm teaching on sex, week number nine. We're ending with sex. I thought I'd leave the best for last.

I'm going to teach on sexuality next week. I'm going to teach on sex, week nine. I just want to say I am going to be addressing it just straight. I'm not walking on eggshells as it relates to sexuality. I won't be walking on eggshells as it relates to sex. We need to redeem these two words because God created it for us as the ones He created and as those that believe in Him. It's been hijacked by the world to the point that the church doesn't even want to talk about something God made for His people, so I'm taking it back. I'm going to talk about sexuality and I'm just going to tell you what the Bible says.

If you have an issue with it, be mad, okay? Be big mad, all right? It won't be because of an opinion. It's going to be because of what I show you in the Scripture. The Scripture is very, very clear. When I talk about sex, I want to talk about sex for married people to start enjoying it again in Jesus' name, okay? For those that have challenges in that area, I hope it will be beneficial to you, especially the stuff that Juliette and I unpacked. I just want to let you know that. If you have teenagers that you bring to our service and you haven't talked to them about sex yet, I'm going to make it really easy, okay?

Now, if you don't want them to hear it, be like, "Hey, you know what? You're going to have to play Fortnite today." Wow.

I don't know. I don't know what you do with your teens, but Juliette and I had our sex talk with our boys last year and it was epic.

They were scarred for life.

Because they have me as a daddy. Hey, it was great. Over the next two weeks, sexuality and sex. What am I talking about next week?

Say it like you mean it.

Great, because you all have one, and then we're talking about what week nine to end the series?

Because you all want to have it, so great.

Those are the next two weeks. This weekend, we got to get past this before we get to those. This weekend, I got to talk about divorce. This weekend, I need to talk about divorce. Y'all like, "Sexuality," "Sex," "Divorce," "Oh, God.”

Now, if you're married, this is something that you never want to go through. If you're divorced, I know it's something that you never wanted to go through. There's no one in this room that has escaped the impact of divorce. Whether directly or indirectly, we've all experienced the pain that divorce can cause. I want to say upfront for those that have gone through a divorce, this is not a message to shame you, to make you feel guilty, to point a finger at you. I just want to show you the impact on divorce in the Scripture.

If you've gone through a divorce, you can learn from it. If you're going through a divorce, you can grow from it. If you're the child of a divorce, you can understand it better, especially understanding that it was not your fault, that your parents' divorce was not your fault. I want to point to the areas where divorce can impact us. I have a lot of ground to cover. I got a lot of scripture to read and so I need you to be patient with me as I unpack all of this, but I feel like by the end of it, you'll be blessed as a result. Y'all ready?

All right, so if you're taking notes on this message, this is week seven of Upset the Vows, and the title of this message is Divorce is an Option. Divorce is an option. Now, I know some of you are like, "I don't like this title. The devil is alive. We ain't getting divorced. You just gave my spouse an idea." No, I didn't. I want to give marriages a reality check because here's what I've heard for years and years and years in the church. Divorce is not an option.

Guess what? 50% of marriages in the church end in divorce, so let's stop lying to ourselves. Let's be a church that's honest enough to deal with the facts that the success rate of marriage in the church is as good as it is outside of the church. It shouldn't be that way, but it is. All this anchoring you have in Jesus, all these devotionals you read and you still wake up one day and like, "You know what? Bye."

"In Jesus' name, bye." The Holy Ghost said, "Bye-bye." God said, "Bye." I want to address this, okay? Let me just pray because once I start, I can't stop. Bow your heads. Let's pray. Holy Spirit, help us to stick it out. Amen. Matthew 1. Sorry, excuse me. Matthew 19:1. Matthew 19:1, here's what it says, "When Jesus had finished saying these things," He had just finished teaching, "He left Galilee and went down to the region of Judea, east of the Jordan River. Large crowds followed Him there and He healed their sick."

"Some Pharisees came and tried to trap Him with this question." Of all the questions you could've asked Jesus, He's healing people, He's blessing people, He's minding His own business, the Pharisees get together and go, "Let's try to trap the dude with a question." Here is their question, "Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?" Jesus' response was, "Haven't you read the Scriptures?"

"They record that from the beginning, 'God made them male and female' and He said, 'This explains why a man leaves his father and mother is joined to his wife and the two are united into one. Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together." That's in red, y'all. Jesus said that. It's not a suggestion. It's what Jesus said just like some Pharisees, just like some church folks. Why did Moses say-- Can I just stop right here? God just said something.

Here go the church folks, "But my pastor said--"

"I don't care what your pastor said. I just read you what the Bible said." When I was being discipled, they said, "Who, who, who? It's right there." The Pharisees told the Word of God, but Moses said, and not firsthand.

They read something that was written down from hundreds of years ago when Moses said, "Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?" Jesus replied, "Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts," "but it was not what God had originally intended." You're ready for these next few words? Because this has got some sauce on it, I think. "It's not what God had originally intended." Are you ready for it? "I tell you this--" Let me tell you something. When somebody's really making a point, they give you their point and they'd be like, "But I tell you what."

"Let me tell you what you ain't going to do." When they followed up with this, "and I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marry someone else commits adultery, unless his wife has been unfaithful." Drop the mic.

Now, since you're coming to me trying to test me, I'm over here healing people trying to mind my business. This is how you want to come at me. I tell you this.

Walking around with this raggedy little note that Moses wrote down, "I tell you this--"

"Whoever divorces his wife--" since some of you all is contemplating it anyway and want to know if you can find a loophole, I'll tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marry someone else commits adultery, unless his wife has been unfaithful, then Jesus' disciples said to Him, "Dang."

That's not what it said, but that's the implication.

They had to walk that off. They was like, "Oh, God, Lord, have mercy." If this is the case, it is better not to marry. If you don't come this strong, sir, I need to strongly consider how much I like this person because you're saying I'm stuck. Not everyone can accept this statement, Jesus said, only those whom God helps. Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can. I like him a lot.

The Pharisees come because they're sick of Jesus's success. They're sick of the following that He continues to have because everywhere He shows up, peace shows up. Everywhere He shows up, sickness is being healed. Everywhere He shows up, there is an understanding of God's love. Everywhere He shows up when judgment should show up, salvation does. Where condemnation should show up, conviction does. Where death should show up, life keeps showing up. They're sick and they're like, "We got to try to get Him. We got to try to stomp Him. Let's see if He can handle our question."

These scholars of Hebrew scripture, "Let's see what He's going to do with this thing on divorce." As we read, He has some pretty strong things to say about it. He has strong things to say about it because His Father has some strong things to say about it. There's some bullets that I have for you to write down. Here's the first one. Three words. Write it down. God hates divorce. He simply hates it.

Now, there are some people in this room that have been divorced. He doesn't hate you. He just hates the fact that it ended the way it did. He hates divorce. Here's what it says in Malachi 2 on the 14th verse, "You cry out, 'Why doesn't the Lord accept my worship?' I'll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young, but you were unfaithful to her. You have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows."

"Didn't the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit, you are His. What does he want? Godly children from your union, so guard your heart, remain loyal to the wife of your youth. 'For I hate divorce,' says the Lord, the God of Israel. 'To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,' says the Lord of Heaven's Armies." Guard your heart. Do not be unfaithful to your wife. Everybody put your hand over your heart like this. Repeat after me. I must - guard - my heart.

I'm going to unpack this a little bit later, but let me say this statement now. Divorce doesn't happen from the outside in. It happens from the inside out, so you have to guard your heart. Why? God hates divorce. He says, "When you divorce your spouse, not just one way. If you divorce your spouse, why if you leave your husband, you're overwhelming him with cruelty." God says Himself, "You're being cruel in that regard," which brings me to my second bullet.

Some of ya'll are going to be shocked by this. God divorced Israel, but He took them back. Now, I'm about to read you something that is so, "Ooh." Remember, a marriage between a man and a woman on earth is a type and shadow of Christ and His love for the church. That's one type and shadow of God and His covenant with Israel. God literally divorced Israel, but He took her back.

He personifies the relationship in this passage that I'm about to read between a husband and a wife. Why does He personify it that way? Because that's what marriage on earth really points to. A covenant with God and Israel and a covenant with God and the church. Here's what it says in Jeremiah 3:1. I'm telling this as some strong stuff coming from God. Buckle up, buttercup.

"If a man divorces a woman and she goes and marries someone else, he will not take her back again for that would surely corrupt the land, 'But you have prostituted yourself with many lovers, so why are you trying to come back to Me?'" "Look at the shrines on every hilltop. Is there any place you have not been defiled by your adultery with other gods? You sit like a prostitute beside the road waiting for a customer." Ooh, if this was 2021, God, He will say you belong to the streets.

Wake up in the morning, "Where's your spouse, Lord? Where's committed Israel, the person you've been faithful to, covenant with?" "In the streets." "You sit alone like a nomad in the desert. You have polluted the land with your prostitution and your wickedness. That's why even the spring rains have failed for you are a brazen prostitute and completely shameless. Yet you say to me, 'Father, You have been my guide since my youth. Surely you won't be angry forever. Surely you can forget about it.'"

What happens, you have a narcissist in the relationship that continues to abuse the grace you give saying, "You ain't going to divorce me." "Yes, I will." "Surely you can forget about it, so you talk, but you keep on doing all the evil you can. During the reign of King Josiah, the Lord said to me, 'Have you seen what fickle Israel has done?' Like a wife who commits adultery, Israel has worshipped other gods on every hill and under every green tree." Now, you know that this is just scandalous. When you go from worshipping the true God and you're just looking for other stuff to worship, "Look, a tree," "Oh, you're a great tree."

"Look, a cow," "Oh, you're a holy cow." "Look an ant," "Oh, great ant." "I thought after she has done all this, she will return to me. She did not return and her faithless sister Judah saw this. She saw that I divorced faithless Israel because of her adultery," period. I need you to take that in. God divorced Israel. "She saw that I divorced faithless Israel because of her adultery." Here's what God says, "You commit adultery, I'll divorce you. Don't think I won't, I did." "But that treacherous sister Judah had no fear, and now she too has left me and given herself to prostitution."

"Israel treated it all so lightly, she thought nothing of committing adultery by worshipping idols made of wood and stone. Now, the land has been polluted, but despite all this, her faithless sister Judah has never sincerely returned to me. She has only pretended to be sorry. I, the Lord, have spoken. Then the Lord said to me, 'Even faithless Israel is less guilty than treacherous Judah. Therefore, go and give this message to Israel.' This is what the Lord says." Are y'all ready? He divorced Israel. He's about to boot Judah. He said, "Please go tell--" Ooh, I want to talk like I want to talk, but I don't want to offend nobody. Ooh, that's so sad. "Please go tell that hoe."

Was that too much? I hope that wasn't too much.

He didn't say a prostitute, y'all. Y'all like, "Prostitute I can handle, but not hoe."

"Why did you have to go so low?" I just want to get it out like that. Here's the message. "Oh, Israel, my faithless people, come home to me again for I am merciful. I will not be angry with you forever. Only acknowledge your guilt. Admit that you have rebelled against the Lord your God and committed adultery against Him by worshipping idols under every green tree. Confess that you refused to listen to my voice. I, the Lord, have spoken."

Let me tell you something. He divorced. It's the only thing He wants you to admit that you did it. He's like, "I'll take you back if you just admit you were wrong. I'm not divorcing you because I don't love you. I'm divorcing you because I do. I have boundaries. You can't keep abusing me and think I'm going to stay in this relationship, so I'm going to divorce you because I respect myself enough to not let you keep coming home at any time you want to after worshipping other gods," aka, sleeping with other people.

"I will not enable you in your behavior, so I will cut you off, but I cut you off in the hopes that you will come back and admit you were wrong and want to recommit yourself to the vows you made with me." "'Return home, you wayward children,' says the Lord, 'for I am your master.' I will bring you back to the land of Israel. One from this town and two from that family from wherever you are scattered. I will give you shepherds after my own heart who will guide you with knowledge and understanding."

God divorced Israel, but He took her back. All she had to do was confess that what she was doing was wrong. Can I just stop and say the majority of all the divorces that I have walked through with people is because one person won't admit, "My bad"? We get to mediation. We get to conflict resolution. It's really, really tense and all we want somebody to do is go, "My bad. That was on me. I did it," but they choose to die with the lie. They choose to go down against all the evidence, against all the proof, "I don't know."

Here's what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:10, "But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me but from the Lord." Of course, Paul, he's the one that said it first. "A wife must not leave her husband, but if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him and the husband must not leave his wife." God has an expectation that marriage is forever. Forever ever, forever ever, forever, ever, ever. Yes, forever until death do you part.

There are two biblical justifications for divorce. Two. Not 22, two. Ready for them? Adultery, that's what Jesus said. Jesus speaks to adultery. It's the first biblical justification for divorce is adultery. If a person steps out of the marriage and is unfaithful to you and you cannot receive them back even if they repent, even if they say, "I'm sorry," God says, "I know what that feels like. I won't bind you to that marriage. If you leave, it's fine with me."

Now, there's scriptural proof that God's relationship with His people can survive infidelity. If you ever need hope that there's infidelity that has crept into your marriage and one of you have been unfaithful or both of you have been unfaithful, you can be restored and you can celebrate that because God showed you that He could do it. He called His people prostitutes and still took them back, okay?

No matter how low it has been in the relationship if this person has repented and you feel peace about it and you want to go through that rebuilding process, we celebrate that. We have seen marriages survive infidelity. That's one of the biblical justifications for divorce is adultery, infidelity. Here's the second one, abandonment. This what Paul speaks to. Paul speaks to abandonment. Now, there's some nuance in this that I want to address because this is a short list. Adultery and abandonment. You know what's not on this list? Irreconcilable differences.

You know why it's not on that list? Because it's just code for, "I can't take this anymore. I'm just tired." We came up with two big chunky words putting together. Irreconcilable, is that enough syllables for you? Judge, differences. We just can't reconcile our differences. No, you're lazy and you're prideful. [laughs] You are obstinate. Your heart is hard. You have no character, no integrity, and so you look for the smallest excuse to end something because you're really running from yourself. Since you don't want to face you, you leave them because they are you outside of you looking back at you, so you ran from you.

Abandonment. 1 Corinthians 7:12, here's what it says, "Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I don't have a direct command from the Lord. If a fellow believer has a wife who was not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. If a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him for the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage and the believing husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy."

Now, before I go to the next verse, this speaks to somebody that has given her life to Jesus and their spouse has not given their life to Jesus. This usually has happened after they have been married when a spouse comes to believe in God and the other one does not. Sometimes you'll have somebody who is saved and they meet somebody. They fall in love and the person's not safe. They feel like by marrying them, they will become a believer. That's not evangelism. That's not the kind of mission feel you want to be on.

"The Lord has called me to this nation to marry all the people so that they might be saved." Don't do that, okay? Usually, this is a configuration where someone comes to the Lord and they're married and the spouse has not. Here's what Paul is saying. If they're cool with you being a believer, they're not giving you any heck about it, hell about it, stay with them. Parenthetically, it says this, "But if the husband or wife who isn't a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases, the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other for God has called you to live in peace."

Here's what he says. If the unbelieving person is like, "You gave your life to Jesus. I can't take it. I'm leaving," here's what Paul says, "Let them go. It's okay. They've abandoned the relationship because of a decision that you've made to follow Jesus. If they go, it's okay. We want you, the believing person, to be at peace." "Well, Tim, we've seen a lot of couples who both declared that Jesus Lord and one person abandoned their relationship. What about that person?"

I'm about to say something. Ooh, let me just slide it out here to you. It's going to sound harsh. I question they believe in Jesus. Well, they were both believers, but one just walked out on the relationship. I question they actually believe in Jesus because if the husband and the wife are type and shadow of Christ's love for his bride, then what that person would have to believe is that Jesus will leave them.

You can't have a sound theology and scripture and both of you are married and one abandons their relationship and still thinks they're in covenant with God. I actually believe that they don't believe in the Scriptures because what they're saying is, "I can leave this relationship because I believe God will leave me. He'll abandon me," when He's already said, "I will never leave you or forsake you."

With all that out of the way, I have three warnings for you. These ain't points, y'all. These are warnings. Warning, warning, warning. Why am I giving you these warnings? Because I don't want y'all to get divorced. You need to be warned that this could happen to you if you are not careful. I don't believe anyone has ever exchanged vows at the altar thinking to themselves, "It's such a beautiful day. I can't wait till I leave you."

"You look so handsome, but I already know like in nine years or so, I'm just going to not be feeling you. Let's just make sure we take really good pictures and let's enjoy this honeymoon because…”

"My pain is so immense that I'm not going to be able to stay with you, but I want the memory." I don't believe anybody goes to the altar thinking they're going to be divorced. In the same way, I don't think a pastor doesn't start a church to mess it up and become a public scandal. I just don't believe no one gets into this for the wrong reasons.

If you're not warned, if everything is like, "The Lord is just-- Oh, the Lord," everything's just great. Heaven's just open to you. He just loves you so much. He's going to forgive you for everything. He's going to love you through everything. Warning. We don't give warnings in the church no more because we think, "Oh, we don't want the people to feel bad." What do you think this is?

Could you imagine going to the gym, having a personal trainer and you've been with them for six months, they still got you on 5 pounds? "I don't want you to be in pain."

Late day, six months. Y'all just, "Oh, why is this so easy?"

"I'm still not toned yet. How come I don't have any muscle definition?" "I thought, well, I didn't want to put too much weight on you because I didn't want you to be in pain." A pain-free church is a church that lacks definition.

I'm telling you right now, this ain't that church. If you want a church where you're going to feel good every Sunday and the word is just going to be uplifting and it's never going to challenge you, I can recommend five to you.

Well, you can just go in there and just, "This is amazing. I love being a Christian. No obligation at all." This ain't that. Three warnings, y'all ready? Point number one, please write this down. Don't split apart. Don't do it. Do not do it. Here's what it says in Matthew 19:6, "Since they are no longer two but one, let--" What does it say?

Including you. Before we start thinking, this girl's trying to make a move on my man. This guy is trying to flirt with my wife. Let no one split apart what God has joined together, including you. Don't you do it. Yes, yes, be careful. Make sure there's no crazy stuff going on outside of the marriage, but don't you be the one that splits you apart. Don't you be the one that keeps instigating. Don't you be the one that keeps saying the word for every inconvenient thing happening in the marriage. Communication's off. "You know what? This does not work. We should get a divorce." "I just misunderstood you."

What are you running from? We already gave you the list. It's adultery and abandonment. Not lack of communication, not misunderstanding, not your kinfolk, not your mama, not your daddy, not your cousins, not your girlfriends. The list is pretty short. Adultery and abandonment. The disciples are like, "Oh, we might as well not even listen. Man, I was looking at somebody too, but after you, I'm straight, man. I'm going to just pray hard and just be all right by myself." Peter was married. Paul never was married. Paul must have heard this from the original disciples and was like, "Bro."

He even wrote it. He wrote it in 1 Corinthians 7, "It is better that y'all would just be single like me."

All the single ladies, all the single ladies. Some of y'all just need to stay single. You don't like that at all. Oh, Jesus, no. What am I talking about? I'm talking about the fact that this is serious. Outside of adultery and abandonment, here's what He says, "Go figure it out." Stop being babies. Grow up. Mature. Pray about it. Go to counseling. Figure it out. "I'm just inconvenienced," "She's so hard." Just tell me. If I was a personal trainer and you came in and I'm like, "All right, man. It's been six weeks. We got to go to 25 pounds."

"Are you sure I just can't stay at 10? My tricep, man, it burns." "You said you wanted the horseshoe in your arm."

"I want that thing when you--"

"Can you get me that?" "Yes," "What do I have to do?" "You have to go through pain." "You have to be consistent. You have to do reps. You got to do it over and over again consistently until something changes." You can't try to talk nice to each other twice and be like, "We tried. It just didn't work." It's ridiculous. Don't split apart. Second warning, don't let your heart get hard. Don't let your heart get hard.

When I was praying about this point, the Holy Spirit, who's a genius, he's the best preacher I've ever heard in my entire life. Whatever you think you've heard from anybody pales in comparison to the one whispering the stuff to the people that preach. He's the best preacher I've ever heard. Here's what he said. He said, "Tim, do you know what will happen to cement if you stop mixing it?" It gets hard.

The only thing you need to do to cement for it to harden, stop mixing it. How does a heart get hard? You stop mixing in love. You stop mixing in forgiveness. You stop mixing in patience. You stop mixing in the washing and water of the word. You stop mixing in devotion time. You stop mixing in long suffering. You stop mixing in self-control. You know what happens to a heart that completely disconnects? "Oh, thank you, Holy Spirit." You stop mixing in accountability.

You stop mixing in confession. You stop mixing in repentance. "I'm not going to apologize. They did it. If they say it, I'll say it." You want a heart to go hard quick? Stop mixing in the food of the spirit. See what happens to it. Don't let your heart get hard, y'all. Because if it gets hard, it will take a jackhammer to break it. Juliette and I have sat with people and they're going through crisis. We're sitting there and we're hearing them talking. It's always one spouse that's like, "I'll do anything," and the other spouse is like, "No, already tried it. You told me to do that last time. I did it. It didn't work."

No patience, no perseverance. Their heart is just getting hard right in front of us to the point where we go, "They're not going to make it." We might as well start preparing the spouse that is willing to do anything right now for reality, this is not going to work. This person's heart has gotten hard. Here's what Jesus said. If you want to know why Moses made this concession, it's because your hearts are hard. Do you know there was a train of thought amongst Jewish rabbis that said that you could divorce your wife if you didn't like the way your meal was prepared?

Written decree of divorce, "Why?" "I don't like the way she cooks." Some Jewish rabbis were feeding this to their disciples. That's why they came to Jesus. He said, "No, He did this as a concession to your heart. This is not because this is the way it's supposed to be." Don't let your heart get hard. Keep mixing in the things that you're supposed to. I'm telling you, if you're in a tough situation right now, you need a third party.

Every time you all talk, it ends in an argument, so stop trying to do it yourself. You need to go to counseling. You need a third party mediating between you because that third party is calm, cool, and collected. They're not in your relationship. They can be the ones to interpret, "Oh no. All she really means is this." She's like, "That's exactly what I was trying to say."

You're like, "Yes, girl, but every time you say it, you say it like--"

You keep grabbing stuff out the sky clapping. Your husband just shuts down. "Hey, young lady. All he was trying to say is this." He's like, "That's exactly what I was trying to say." He was like, "Yes, dude, but you never actually said that until we got to counseling."

"He won't talk. He won't talk." Don't let your heart get hard, which brings me to point number three, get God's help. It sounds like a no-duh warning, right? Like, "I can't believe you even had to tell us this, Tim." Scripture says that Jesus actually said this. Matthew 19:11, here's what it says. "Not everyone can accept this statement," Jesus said. "Only those whom God helps." You know who God helps? Those that ask for help.

You're the best ride in your marriage, you better throw up your hands and say, "Help me, Lord." He's like, "Sweet, I will help you," but all this, "I'm going to do it on my own. I've got this figured out. I don't need no help. Thank you, Holy Spirit." I want to confront the spirit of pride in the room that says, "I don't want nobody in my business." You're trying to save face. "I don't want to go to a counselor because I don't want nobody in my business."

Thank you. Oh, I hear this. You're trying to keep an image, but that's one of the things you need to be divorced from is your image of yourself. 90% of all the people that would say, "I want a divorce," but lack the two things that are on the list, here's the truth. You do need a divorce from the version of the relationship you've established, not from each other. The majority of people don't need a divorce from each other. You need a divorce from the expectations you had when you walked down the aisle.

You don't need a divorce from each other. You need a divorce from your bad habits that keep problematic issues going over and recurring over and over again. The majority of people don't need a divorce from each other. You need a divorce from the stuff that keeps you from being connected. Divorce is an option, but it is incredibly limited option. If I don't warn you, Embassy City, we have a 50% rate just like the world. You know what happens when you give warnings? The majority of the people take heed. How many people have you heard that have died because of drinking Drano? Not many because there's a warning label and people are like, "It looks like will kill you."

"So we probably shouldn't do it." Why do we have nicotine patches outselling cigarettes? Because the warning label on cigarettes now got people with trachs, got to see pictures of people with holes in their throat and they're like, "I don't want to-- I probably shouldn't want to look like this. Maybe I should try to kick this habit." Warning, don't split apart. Warning, don't let your heart get hard. Warning, get God's help. Divorce is an option, but it should not become normalcy.

Would you bow your heads and close your eyes? What is the Holy Spirit saying to you through this message? Every head is bowed and every eye is closed. I need to ask a question. Every head is bowed, every eye is closed. This question I want to ask if you're married, how many people were close to divorce, you've been close to divorce? I'm not saying you were now, but you've been close to divorce. Thank you. Thank you for being honest. I appreciate you. I appreciate you.

I do believe this teaching is going to help. I know it's a tough teaching, a hard-hit teaching to hear, but we need to hear it. You may be watching us online and this may have stirred up a lot of emotions for you. I just want you to know. Take some good, deep cleansing breaths. There's no fear in anxiety. There was only grace and truth. In the grace and truth of this moment, let's point to a real issue in the church that pertains to divorce. We don't have to be on par with the world in this area, but we need to be warned.

We need to be educated in Scripture about what God says about it. Whether you are here in Overflow, whether you are there, I just want to pray over your marriages. If you're not married, I want you to think about someone you know that's married. Let's believe God for a thriving marriage that can handle for better and for worse, that can handle for rich or for poor, that can handle in sickness and in health, and that make the commitment of till death do us part.

Before I pray, there might be somebody here that has never given their life to Jesus. Whether you're in here in Overflow or watching online, I'm telling you, God wants to have a relationship with you. It doesn't matter how bad you've been. [laughs] It doesn't matter what you've done. He will take you back if you would simply confess your love for Him and change your mind about the way you think. That's what repentance is. It means to change your mind.

Holy Spirit, I pray for every marriage that is in this room, watching us online. I pray, Lord God, that You would divorce-proof our relationships, that this word would never be a reality that we face. God, I pray for those that have been divorced, they've gone through a divorce. I pray that you would heal their hearts, that you would restore them so that when they remarry, it would be forever.

God, whether they were the ones whose hearts were hardened or whether they had to endure the hardened heart, I pray that You would keep theirs soft, that if they get into a relationship, Lord God, that leads to marriage, that they would be at peace with Your plan for their lives. Lord God, I pray for any and everybody who's open to give their life to Jesus today. I pray, Lord God, that they would be restored in the same way a man is to a woman after a breach in their relationship.

We know that sin breached our relationship with You, God, but we're coming back to You right now. We confess that we have been wrong, You have been right, and we want a relationship with You. We believe that Jesus is Lord and that God raised Him from the dead. We change our mind about the way we think. God, for everybody that says yes and amen to that, I pray that as heaven throws their party for their soul that You will be present with them and, Holy Spirit, you would fill them for the relationship you want to have with them.

God, as we leave this place, we seal everything we have discussed in prayer. God, I pray that marriages are strengthened even more after this weekend. Holy Spirit, do work that no man can take credit for, that no counselor can take credit for, that no therapist can take credit for. Restore us, uplift us, and may our marriages be stronger than ever. In the matchless name of Jesus, we pray. Everybody that I love them, say amen.

Amen. God bless you, guys. I love you.