You May Have a Lot to Deal With
Tim Rivers | December 4, 2022
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Tim Rivers: What's up everybody? Come on, make some noise if you're glad to be in the building. Boy, can we give it up for Embassy City kids? Come on now. Boy, I couldn't contain myself. I said I want a piece of that. That was really good. If this is your first time, we want to say welcome to Embassy City. As you can see, the shekinah glory is still in the building. We are so glad that you're here and we pray that you get everything that you need and want from the Lord. To those that are joining us online, our Vitamin E family, we say welcome to you. Thank you so much for watching with us and being with us.
We're so glad that we get to do this with people all around the world. Come on, make some noise for that. I also want to recognize a group of people that help to make these services happen. Those are our ambassadors. If you're new to Embassy City, we call ourselves team ambassadors because we're ambassadors of the Kingdom of God. That's from parking lot, to greeting, worship, tech, prayer teams, kids’ ministry, all around people are serving, literally hundreds of people or giving of their time, treasure and talents. I just want to say thank you so much for giving of yourselves to make this experience great. Can we give it up for all those? Come on.
One more plug before we get into this word. Next week we get the opportunity to celebrate and honor Tim and Juliet for the years of ministry here as they transition into their new assignment. Today is the last day to register. If you haven't registered for the event, make sure all information's right there, make sure you register today. I've already gone out, got my outfit and I checked it twice. Need to do a little bit of tailoring, but I'm planning on being there flying in style. Get your outfit. It's a good excuse to go shopping, but be there. It's going to be a good time. All right. If you have your Bible, go with me to Genesis 12, the Book of Genesis 12.
While you're turning there, let me give you a little bit of background on this message. This message is very different from me. A different type of message that I would normally preach in this holiday season. Normally it'd be Christmasy and something like holiday-ish, but this is a very different message. The way I got this message is, Pastor Tim preached a couple weeks ago on the amazing ambiguity of Abraham, a phenomenal message. While he was preaching, something stood out to me in the passage that he was reading, and God was like, that's what you're going to teach on. We're going back to Genesis 12:1, and then we're going to go to Genesis 13:14.
Genesis 12:1, here it says, “Now the Lord said to Abram, go from your country and your kindred or your kin folks and your father's house to a land that I will show you.” Let's go to chapter 13 verse 14. The Lord said to Abram after Lot had separated from him. Now, anytime we read the scriptures, every phrase, every scenario is very important so we have to pay close attention to why this is in the passage. God begins to speak to Abram, but only after Lot had separated from him. He said, "Lift up your eyes and look from the place where you are northward and southward and eastward and westward.
For all the land that you see, I will give to you and to your offspring forever. I will make your offspring as the dust of the earth so that if one can count the dust of the earth, your offspring also can be counted. Arise, walk through the length and the breath of the land for I will give it to you. Abram moved his tent and came and settled by the oaks of Mamre, which are at Hebron and there he built an Altar to the Lord.” Today I want to teach you how to identify and deal with toxic family members in this holiday season, so buckle up buttercup. Let's create, let's just get a working definition of a toxic person so we know who we dealing with.
A toxic person is anyone whose behavior adds negativity and upset to your life. Many times, people who are toxic are dealing with their own stresses and traumas. Now, there are two extremes of toxic people. On the one extreme, you have those who have trauma and drama in their past and they haven't dealt with it, and they don't want to deal with it. On the other extreme, you have those that have gone through drama and trauma and they use that as an excuse for their toxic behavior. Those are the two types of people that we'll talk about. Now, anybody here have any toxic family members?
Some of y'all nervous about raising your hand. I see some couples out there. Holiday season, I deal with a toxic person every day. We all got somebody in our family, that one person in every family. It could be that crazy aunt, that inappropriate uncle, that overbearing mom, that deadbeat dad. Every family has got somebody. You may be here watching online, you're like, you know what? Not our family. We ain't got that problem at all. The one who smelt it, dealt it. We're going to talk about this, and so for the sake of this message, my title for today is, 'You may have a Lot to deal with.' Now some of y'all going to get this on the way home, but this is a double entendre.
You may have a Lot to deal with more than a little, or you may have an actual Lot, a person to deal with. We're going to talk about how to deal with toxic people. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, we thank You for allowing us to be here. Help us in the next few moments to understand through the scriptures how to deal with toxic types of individuals, that Your will be done in this service. Help us to walk out of here educated by Your word on how to proceed into the holiday season with peace. We give Your name all the praising glory in Jesus’ name. Everybody say Amen. Anybody know the difference between, between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.
Of course, I'm talking about your in-laws, not mine. Love you mom, dad. You may be like, I don't know if I'm dealing with toxic people. Let me help you, let's calibrate and let's find out if you are actually dealing with a toxic person. If you got to pre-game before every family event, seven shots in the driveway before you walk in, you may be dealing with a Lot. If you got to take that special medicine in order to deal with those crazy family members, you may be dealing with a Lot. If you got to get pre-counseling, mid-counseling and post-counseling just to deal with your family's antics, you may be dealing with a Lot.
If you are at the party and you have made your 12th trip to the spiked eggnog just to deal with Uncle Vernon, I just feel like Uncle Vernon is the one, you may be dealing with a Lot. If you are sick when it comes to every event so that you can't make it to any family event because it always happens to be that you are sick you may be dealing with a Lot. Now if you're not doing any of those things, but everyone around you is doing a thing, you may be a Lot. The reality is that a lot of people deal with Lots. Here's the thing, the holiday season is joyful for a lot of people, but it's also very stressful and anxiety-ridden for a lot of people. That's because the family unit is very complicated.
It's very difficult to navigate the family unit because here's the thing, a family unit is a system, and a system has rules and regulations and expectations. If you're part of your family system, the moment that you become different than what is expected of you, you upset the system. Every system has an equilibrium. It has a balance but generally, family units don't allow for much of your own personality to grow outside of the context of what has been established as this is just our family. This is the River’s family, this is how we do it. We are the Johnsons. We are the Jones’, we don't do that but then you go to college, you have a different experience.
You meet somebody different and your worldview changes. Now you come to the next holiday season, and you think that you can share your opinions. Next thing you know an argument ensues. Mama's crying, Daddy's mad, your brother's leaving early. All of a sudden, a family reunion that’s supposed to be so beautiful turns out to be a mess. Why, because you messed up the equilibrium by being yourself. Now, you may be saying, "Lord, is it just me, or does everybody have this drama?" Everybody has drama. It may have been the generation before you but every family got some drama. We know this to be true because when we look through Scripture, the very first family unit had drama.
God creates Adam and Eve places them in the garden says, "Be fruitful, multiply, replace yours, subdue, have dominion." Adam and Eve are doing their thing and then well guess what happens? Eve eats the fruit, she gives Adam, Adam eats the fruit, Satan comes to the world then God shows up and goes, "Adam, what have you done?" What does that have to do-- The woman, this toxic woman that you gave me. God says to Eve, "Yo, what happened?" She's like, "This serpent, this toxic serpent that you allowed in the garden," and fingers begin to point. This is why I want to go back to the story of Abraham and Lot.
I want to show you through Scripture why I believe that Lot is a toxic person, and why he affected Abraham. I think through evaluating the story, we get ammunition or we get equipped on how to deal with toxic individuals. In order to be able to deal with toxic individuals, we first have to be able to identify a toxic individual. If you're taking notes write this down, how to spot a Lot. How to spot a Lot. Number one, a Lot will weigh you down. All right let's look at the story of Abraham and Lot and get some context because we first have to figure out how did this relationship start in the beginning. Abraham's father, his name was Terah.
Terah had at least two sons, Abraham and another son named Haran. Haran apparently at some point, died and Haran had a son. He left a son named Lot. When Haran died, Terah Lot's grandfather, Abraham's father began to take care of Lot, then Terah dies. Now this leaves Abraham as the patriarch of his family, so he begins to take care of Lot. Are you following me? Now we see that Abraham is taking care of his nephew. Now when you read scripture, it seems as though we're dealing with Abraham who's 75, and Lot, who we think is much younger but according to Scripture, Haran, Abraham's brother was about 70 years older than Abraham.
Most likely the case was Lot was at least Abraham's age or older. That's changed the whole story for you all, right? We're not talking about some young innocent boy that didn't have no father. We're not talking about somebody who didn't have the ability to work. We talking about a grown man in his 70s that's like, "Who's going to take care of me now?" He is the same age as Abraham and yet he allows Abraham to take care of him as if he's some little child. Now, why is that? Because Lot used his trauma of losing a father and grandfather to put weight on Abraham who really didn't have to have the responsibility, but because he wouldn't take responsibility for his own life, he didn't mind putting it on Abraham's life.
This is how you know you're dealing with a toxic person. If that person has the ability to work, to get free, to hear counseling, to do that, and they don't do it because they would rather weigh you down you may be dealing with a toxic person. If you get to the family holiday and every holiday, they don't mind asking you for money, but they refuse to work you may be dealing with a Lot. Lot does not mind being a grown man looking at his uncle, and going, "Is you going to be my daddy?" We’re not talking about a child, this is embarrassing. Toxic people will do embarrassing things because they're toxic.
They don't mind putting all their drama and all their weight on you. They may be single, don't have a single person that's dependent on you, but they want you with a full family to take care of them. Well, that got personal with somebody right there. Number one, the way to spot a Lot is a Lot will weigh you down. Here's number two. A Lot is a leech. What's a leech? A leech is a parasite and the way a leech lives is it attaches itself to a living organism and it sucks the lifeblood out of it for its own survival but it gives nothing in return but bacteria and infection. How do you know you're dealing with a toxic person?
If every time you're around them, they are pulling the lifeblood out of you. They are using you. They always got to have you. They want you to be on call 24/7. They're always pulling from you, but they're never giving anything in return. Look at Abraham and Lot. The Scripture says God comes to Abraham says, "Abraham, I want you to leave your country, your kindred, and your father's house now." Let's break this down. The country easy, geography. I want you to leave your location, I want you to leave your kinfolks, easy. Cousins all of them, let's go. Why would God in addition to kinfolks add and your father's house because his father was dead at that point.
The only one left in his father's house was Lot because if you look at the order, Terah was taking care of Lot, and Lot was in the household of Terah, who was Abraham's father. God says, preemptively to Abraham, what I'm going to do with you requires for you to separate yourself from the location you're at, from the peripheral family, and from this joker. He doesn't do it. Initially, when the Scriptures tells Abraham to leave, God tells Abraham leave the Bible says that Abraham gathered all of his belongings, his wife, his things, and Lot. Why? Because he felt obligated and guilty to take care of this joker.
Then he leaves and then several times after that the Bible doesn't say that Abraham is pulling him but the Bible says that Abraham leaves and Lot went with him. You know what a leech does, it just follows you wherever you go trying to take the blessings that actually belong to you. A leech does not mind attaching themselves to you. As long as you got living blood running through your veins, they will attach themselves and run you dry. That's how you know you deal with a toxic person. Here's number three. A Lot will affect your morality. I don't want the smoke, I'm just the messenger. Let's look at Lot and Abraham again.
Lot and Abraham are doing their thing. They get to a famine. There's a famine in the land. Abraham is like, "I got to go to Egypt because Egypt has grain for us." He goes and Bible says Lot went with him. This leech is just following him everywhere. They get to Egypt and before they enter in Abraham's like, "Oh, man my wife is so fine, so hot, so right that the Egyptians are going to look at her and they're going to want her and then they'll kill me which makes her a widow then it’s legal for them to marry her." He goes, "Hey, Sarai, listen, to spare my life when we go there when they ask about you, you tell them that you are my sister instead of my wife."
They go she says, "I'm his sister." Pharaoh went got Sarai, guy was like, "You ain't doing this fam," wakes up in the middle of the night then he's like, "Hey, what's up," and they're like, "Actually, that's his wife." The whole scenario gets a little weird because then Pharaoh gives him all this stuff. He says, "Be on your way." Now, why would Abraham who's supposed to be a righteous man, who was following after the voice of God by faith, get to Egypt and make an immoral decision about his wife instead of trusting God to take him through Egypt, because you are who you're around. You are what you eat.
If you want to lose weight, you can't be eating burgers every day because you eventually will turn into a burger. The reason why I believe that Lot is the one that affected the morality of Abraham is because when Lot and Abraham finally separated, where did Lot go? He went to Sodom, the most immoral place encountered in the Bible. When he finally had his own decision to make his own path, he chose an immoral place, which means that it is in his heart the whole time. When it's in his heart, he was affecting Abraham's morality. Can I tell you that if you do things that are uncharacteristic of you because you're around this person, that person is toxic.
If you get to the holiday event and you never have a problem drinking, but every time you get around them you get drunk, and then you lose sight of what happened that night that's a toxic person. If they can call you and cause you to do things that are uncharacteristic of you, you may be dealing with a toxic person. The way to identify and spot a Lot is they will affect your morality. Here's another way that you can spot a Lot. A Lot will steal your peace. A Lot will steal your peace. Let's go back to Abraham and Lot. They've been rolling together for probably-- The Scripture doesn't really tell us. There's two events that took place. God speaking to Abraham at 75.
We know that he was connected with Lot left, and then at the age of 86 is when Abraham had Ishmael, so somewhere between then is where they had this break up. What was going on between Lot and Abraham is their herdsman were in conflict with one another because the land could not support both of their herds. When they were in conflict, the herdsman were in conflict, the Scripture says that Abraham goes to Lot and says, "Hey, Lot. There's no peace here because of your herdsman and my herdsman, they're in conflict with one another." This is a perfect example of a toxic person because a toxic person will disrupt the peace that you work so hard to get.
They don't care if you went to counseling, they don't care if you got your life on the straight and narrow. They don't care if you start going to church, they don't care what has happened. When they talk to you, they have a way of getting up under your skin. You talk to them on the phone, you start getting suspicious of other people. You talk to that negative mom. You and your husband do, don’t you? Great. He starts talking about him, "No, mom. He's not like that. He's not like that. Okay. I'll call you later." Now, you’re all at the dinner table. He's like, "What's up, boy? What's going on?" "You tell me what's going on." "Why are you acting so weird?" "No. Why are you acting so weird?"
Y’all been going to marriage retreats. Y’all watch Upset the Vows together. Y’all took all these notes. Everything's going great, but you talk to that one person and they got you questioning your whole life. That's what a toxic person will do. They will disrupt your peace and not even think twice about it. You know why? Because they have no peace. Because they have no peace, they don't want you to have peace. Because they don't have health in their life, they don't want to you to have health. Because they're not disciplined, they don't want you to have discipline. They will be around your life and they don't care if your life is disrupted. Why? Because my life is disrupted.
That's how they be at the holiday events, right? "Oh, so you got a new car? Not everyone can get a new car." They see you, you drive off feeling guilty. You better drive that car. Some of you all are like, "How do I deal with it when they’re talking to me?" Just stop and be like, "Hey, man. Honestly, right now I'm just dealing with a Lot." I just helped somebody right there. Hey, when they call you on the phone, tell them, "Hey, listen. I’d love to talk, but I'm just dealing with a Lot right now. Like literally right now. I may call you back." [laughs] This is a whole new level. Now when you start talking about people you’ll be like, "Man, they’re a Lot."
All right, here's another way that you can spot a Lot. A Lot is not for you. Let's go back to Abraham and Lot. They have conflict. There's not peace in their relationship, so Abraham says, "Listen, it's not possible for you and I to be in the same vicinity. For the sake of our peace and for the sake of our relationship, we got to part ways. Mr. Lot, nephew, who's my same age, weird. Pick a spot and then whatever is left I'll pick a spot." You would think that this grown man who has benefited from the relationship that he's had with Abraham for the last almost 10 years would look back at Abraham and say, "You know what? I'm just your nephew. My dad died, my grandfather died, you took me in under your wings. Man, you've been so good to me. I got all this because of you. I don't even deserve it, fam. You know what? No, you pick a place Abraham, and then whatever is left, I'll take that."
You would think that's what he would do, right? This joker was like, "Me pick first?”… there's water, it's green. Oh, that's nasty. I'm going to this way." He picks the best place for himself and leaves the rest to Abraham. Can I tell you a toxic person is just about themselves. They don't care if you worked 80 hours to get your paycheck. They want half of it because they're unwilling to work. Let me just straighten this out. There are times when we got to help family members. We got to help toxic people. There are times where if you have, and we're going to get into this in a second here.
There are times where you have to help somebody. But listen, if that somebody has the ability, and has had the counseling, and has not made the effort to take care of themselves, but they want everything from you and they're not for you, identify them as a Lot, because there are certain people in your life that they are not for you. They may seem like they're for you, "Hey, I'm just looking out for you, fam." No, you're not. You're looking out for yourself. That's a Lot. Now that we've identified how to spot a Lot now let's talk about how do you deal with a Lot. If you're taking notes, write this down. How to deal with a Lot.
Number one, create healthy boundaries. The way to deal with a Lot is number one, create healthy boundaries. Abraham when he was talking to Lot, he didn't say, "All right, fam. Let's just put a fence right here. You stay right here, I stay right here and then will coexist semi in the same space." No. Abraham said, "Yo, wherever you want to go, go, and I'm going to pick the opposite direction." If you're dealing with a person that has been identified as a Lot, you have to create safe boundaries, and sometimes it means you got to separate yourself by a good distance. If you don't have boundaries, a toxic person will take advantage of you.
You have to be able to create some space between them and you. Let's talk about the holiday season like, "How do I do this, man? They're family members." Listen, avoid them at all costs to protect your own peace. Create healthy boundaries. Don't let them into your safe space. If you worked hard, you've gone through counseling, you've dealt with your drama, you got a new circle of friends, you're save, you got all this stuff. Protect that at all costs. Guess what? Because the word of God to Abraham was to Abraham. Check this out.
The reason why I read chapter 13:14 is because the Bible says, that God begins to speak to Abraham, and he further explains what he wants to do in his life, but he only does that after Abraham set clear boundaries with Lot. In order to fully understand more clearly what God has designed for your life, you have to make sure that you're not connected to the wrong person, because a toxic person or the wrong person, a Lot, will make the word of God to you fuzzy. When you separate from them, all of a sudden now God is saying to Abraham, "Abraham, I told you at the beginning just to leave your country, but now I'm telling you to walk north, and south, east, and west, the breadth and the height, everything belongs to you. Let him go to Sodom because I'm going to tell you preemptively there's something going to happen there. I'm going to give you all of this, but I couldn't tell you what I wanted to do in your life because you were connected to the wrong person.” Protect yourself from toxic people who don't care about the promises in your life. I'm in somebody's grits. Boy, that's an old-school term right there. Here's number two, how to deal with a Lot. Make your interaction purposeful. If somebody, somebody say if you're ready. Lot and Abraham separated, if you want to know if a person is toxic, create some distance and see where they end up.
That's a word for somebody right there. Because Lot had Sodom in his heart the whole time. He didn't want to go there by himself because he enjoyed the benefits of Abraham more than him wanting to be independent in his own sins. Here's what Lot did. Lot actually went outside of Sodom. He got as close as he could and then years later, he ends up in it. Boy, that's a word right there. When Abraham and Lot separate, Lot is now in Sodom. Sodom is in conflict with the kings around Sodom, and they get into a battle. The other kings win against Sodom and they lay siege to the city and then they kidnap Lot.
This is a grown man again who's just been kidnapped. We have no indication that he fought back. We have no indication that he raised a fuss or raised an army and was like, "Y'all ain't taking me." He was like, "Please, please take me." He gets kidnapped. Well, a servant escapes and gets to Abraham and says, "Hey Abraham, your nephew Lot is in trouble again. They have just kidnapped him." Abraham has a choice to make, do I interact with this toxic person who's caused me all kinds of issues and disturb my peace and blah, blah, blah? Or do I interfere into their affairs?”
Abraham makes a decision, "You know what, I'm good. I got 318 of the best-trained soldiers we're going to go in, handle business and get out." That's what he does. He sends 318 of his most trained soldiers to go. They defeat the armies. They allow Lot to go back. They rescue Lot and the kings of Sodom are like, "Hey, can we give you some presents?" Abraham says, "No, I don't want to take a dime from you unless you say that you've made me rich. Why? Because God has taken care of me ever since Lot was gone, man, I've been super blessed.” My interaction with Lot is purposeful.
I've just come here to handle business, to rescue him, to take care of him and I'm out of here. The only reason why I'm here is because I had the resources and I was ready to do so. If you expect me to walk back into your life and have the same type of relationship that we always had before, I ain't doing it." I've come here with a purpose and I'm going to get up out of here. If the person that you're dealing with that you've identified as a toxic person has not changed, watch your interaction with them. Don't let it be back to normal, let it be purposeful. Go handle your business. Go for Christmas.
Hey, here you go. Here's your gift. Gotta go. I'm dealing with a Lot right now, and get up out of there. Because here's the thing, if he would've gotten back in a relationship with Lot guess where Lot ended up again after he got kidnapped, back in Sodom. Toxic people always end up in the same situation. Have you ever talked to somebody and you're like, man, this is the 47th time? This is the 47th family reunion, y'all got history and they still hadn't changed. Number two is be purposeful with your interaction. Begin to make a game plan before you get there what you're going to tolerate, what you won’t.
If a certain topic comes up that you know is your trigger pause, right now I feel like I'm dealing with a Lot. I got to go. Don't let Lot or a toxic person disrupt your peace. Here's the third and final way that you can deal with a Lot. Pray for them. We're living in a culture where it's like, "Man, you got this toxic person, I ain't going to deal with them no more. I'm going to cut them off, blah blah." No, let's look at the Bible and see what the Bible says about dealing with toxic people. Number one is create safe boundaries, right? Create some distance. Number two, be purposeful with your interaction. Number three, pray for them.
Let's go back to Lot and Abraham. Sodom and Gomorrah is going buck wild and God's like, I've had it, I'm about to destroy this whole joint. He's like, man, my friend Abraham got a nephew there. Let me just tell him what's up. Let me just stop and say this. Isn't it amazing what relationship we can have with God that you can be such a friend of God that he will tell you, even though it don't affect you directly, he will tell you, "Hey yo, I'm about to go do this thing. Just wanted to let you know." God comes to Abraham He's like, "Yo, I'm about to destroy." I know he's been toxic and I know he's a lot, but he still means a lot to you.
This is how to free somebody right here. Just because they're toxic doesn't mean you don't need to care for them. God says to Abraham, "Hey, I just want to tell you what's up. I'm about to destroy Sodom, but I know you have family there." Abraham begins to negotiate with God. He says, "Man, if there's 50 righteous, could you spare the whole city?" This is what we call interceding. To intercede means that you stand in between two parties. Abraham was willing to intercede on Lot's behalf, even though Lot hadn't really done him right, because he knew that the only agent of change that would save Lot is God.
Notice what Abraham didn't do. He didn't say, "All right, God, give me a second, let me go talk to him." Abraham didn't run to Sodom and try to have a conversation with Lot to change Lot's mind, because he already knew based on their history, there's nothing that I could say to this dude that's going to make him change. The only one that can change the toxic person is God. Abraham says, I'm not even going to Sodom because I know the only salvation for him is you, God. If you find it in you, save this joker and God does, God saves Lot. Why? Because Abraham was willing to pray and intercede on Lot's behalf.
If you're dealing with a person that is so difficult and so toxic and they're in serious trouble, the best solution for them is not to try to go have a conversation with them. If they have a history of being toxic, of not changing, you ain't going to convince them in some conversation. Especially if you tell them like, "Hey, yo, your life's about to be destroyed. Like God told me." Could you imagine a conversation if Abraham came to Lot and was like, "Yo, God's going to destroy the whole city with fire." Lot's like, "Man, you've really taken up the ante here.: The best thing you can do for that person is to pray for them, to intercede, for them to have compassion on them, to love them through prayer.
That's how to deal with a Lot. Now, I know that as I'm preaching this there are a lot of thoughts probably going through your mind. If you have a toxic person you're dealing with, you may be thinking like, "But I've always been taught that like blood is thicker than water and family means everything. This is our culture. This is how we do things. How am I supposed to," and I'm not making light. I'm using a little bit of humor in this message, but I am not making the scenario and the situation light. I know that it's difficult. I know that right now, as you're thinking about the holidays, you may be getting stressed out.
I know you're trying to think like, "Man, I know I got four Lots. I don't know how to deal with them. I know it is." Some of you may be thinking, well it's my parents. The Scripture says, "Honor thy father and thy mother, and it will be well with you." Let me help you really quick. Where the difference between honor and respect. The biblical definition of honor is that we honor position regardless of who's in it. We honor our father and mother because that is the hierarchy, that is the structure of the family that God has designed. He has designed the family unit to be mother, father, kids. We honor that but you have to work.
You have to walk in the honor that God has given you. Right? There are some people, let me use fathers for example. There are fathers who have abused their families, who have done their families wrong, who have abdicated their responsibility. They have stepped out of the role of honor. I don't have to honor you, I honor the role because the Bible says “If the man does not provide for his own he's worse than an infidel.” God isn't saying, "I want you to honor an infidel." He says, "I want you to honor father and mother the roles that I have designed." This probably should help somebody, when you go to your family reunion and your mom is toxic, you'll be like, “Man, I honor you as a mother, but I ain't got to tolerate this nonsense.”
You may be sitting there like, man, but how is this biblical? Well let me just help you real quick. Let me give you a quick overview survey of the Scriptures because God oftentimes he elevates the promise that he has in your life above your blood relation. Sometimes he has to separate you from toxic individuals who would hinder and impede the will, his will in your life. You're like, oh, give me a Bible. I got you. God had to separate Joseph from his toxic brothers in order to develop the dreams that he had. God had to separate Jacob from his toxic mother and then his toxic uncle so that he could change his name.
God had to separate David from his toxic brothers who didn't believe in him so that he could be king. Y'all like, well that's Old Testament. I'm glad that you brought that up because I got you something in the New Testament. Jesus. Let me read the description. Some of y'all Jesus. John 7:5, this is Jesus. This is speaking of Jesus "For not even his brothers believe in him." In Mark 6 the Bible talks about Jesus and it says that Jesus, he's speaking, he says, "A prophet is without honor in his own country, in his own neighborhood therefore, he could not do any great works.” Why? Because his family members, his neighborhood, always just saw him as little JJ.
They didn't see him as the rabbi. They didn't see him as Jesus. They didn't see him as the Son of God. They saw him as little JJ man. What you going tell us JJ? How you going to do these miracles? You just JJ. To some people, I'm always going to be little Timmy. It's always funny when I run into some people that have always, they'll put you in that category because the way they start off, they say, "Hey, young man." I'm like “I’m 35 when am I going to be a grown man?” Even Jesus had to deal with some toxic family members and it wasn't until later after his death, that some of his brothers believed on him.
After his resurrection they believed on him and then they became disciples. I'm telling you this because I know that the holidays are coming in. This is such a different message for me to preach, but I believe it's God ordained for somebody. If it's not for you, send it to the person that you know needs this. Send it to a Lot. Hey, I know you're dealing with a Lot right now, but God wants you to know that here's a promise for your life and he has a call for your life. And it can be in these seasons of the holiday season, you may think is this a real thing? Yes, there's a term, it's called the holiday blues and it's not an official term, but it is a term that really encapsulates the feelings of some people during the holidays.
In fact, some research has been done. They found that 64% of people who have dealt with mental issues in their life are 64% more likely to experience mental health issues, anxiety, stress during the holiday season. This is a real thing. I want you to know through Scripture that you have permission from the Bible to create healthy boundaries, to interact purposefully if you're ready, and to pray for them. I want to pray for somebody right now. If you want to close your eyes, bow your heads. If you're in this place and you're like, man, I'm going to put you on the spot. I'm dealing with something or I know somebody who's dealing with it, just slip your hand up right now.
If you're in the chat, man, put your hand in there. Let me pray for you. Dear Jesus, You see these hands that are raised, you see those that are watching online who may be entering into this holiday season with some anxiety, maybe some stress and maybe some trepidation. I pray that your overwhelming peace would be upon them and that they would see to have permission to protect the promise that you've put in their lives. Even if it means having to create safe boundaries, interact purposefully and praying for those in their family unit that exhibit toxic behavior.
I pray, Lord God, that as we enter into this Christmas season, that we would enter with peace, that we would keep you at the forefront of our minds and therefore, follow in your footsteps, the ones that you have planted for us. We thank you, Lord God, for what you're doing, what you're going to continue to do in Jesus' name, and everybody say Amen. God bless.
