I Give Up: Week 1 - Kill Cain, Not Abel

Tim Ross | August 1, 2021

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If you have your Bibles, I want you to go to Genesis 4. We are starting a brand-new series. It's either going to last five or six weeks. Y'all just flow with me. The title of the series is, I Give Up. Can you say that with me? "I give up." One more time, "I Give Up." This entire sermon series is about giving. This entire sermon series is about giving your time, giving your talent, giving your treasure.

Now, I want to preface even going into the series by saying that I know anytime a pastor preaches on giving, teaches on giving, two things happen. People whose hearts are open wind up being extravagant givers. People whose hearts are closed leave the church. They leave the church mumbling a narrative along the lines of, "See, that's all they wanted was some money. That's all they care about was some money, trying to fleece the flock."

I want you to know, I make no apologies about teaching on giving because it's in scripture. In the same way, I make no apologies about teaching on grace because it's in scripture. It's the reason why I make no apologies preaching about or against sin because it's in scripture. If you have any apprehension, if you've come from a church that abused giving, manipulated with giving, I want you to know that I understand that PTSD. As I go through this message, if you flinch after I say a certain thing, if your butt-cheeks get tighter, you're like, "Ha."

That's too close to, "Ha, he's probably going to ask for $100 offer online. He's probably going to say there's 50 people in here that can give $1,000.

If you come from any of that background, I want you to know that has never happened at Embassy City Church nor will it ever happen. If you visited more than two or three weeks, you know that we have never passed the plate since we started almost six years ago. The offering boxes are in the back. 93% of you give online. This is actually only my third time teaching on giving in almost six years.

I only teach when God tells me to. "Well, Tim, if we're already extravagant givers and we're already doing it, then why are you teaching it?" In the same way, I still teach on grace even though you should already know about it. On the same way, I teach against sin even though you should already know to stop doing it. It's a reminder for those that know and it is a growing opportunity for those that do not know. For the next five or six weeks, we're teaching about, "I give up."

Can I just tell you? I was so happy when the Lord gave it to me. I used to be a rapper, so I love metaphors and double entendres. When He told me the name of the series, I was like, "Yo, I give up." It's the dopiest double entendre of all time because you have to give up to give up. If you don't give up the way that you think about giving, then you'll never give up to the one that gave us everything. I'm starting this message strong. Everybody say "strong."

Starting this message strong, all right? I'm going to need your attention and I need your heart and your mind to be open. I'm going to read you the text that we're going to cover and then I'll give you the title of the message and then we'll praise. Is that all right? Oh, I'm so happy to be back. Y'all ready? Genesis 4:1, here's what it says, "Now, Adam has sexual relations with his wife Eve." Amen, Adam.

Mary's series is over, but still amen. "Now, Adam has sexual relations with his wife Eve and she became pregnant. When she gave birth to Cain, she said, 'With the Lord's help, I have produced a man.' Later, she gave birth to his brother and named him Abel. When they grew up, Abel became a shepherd while Cain cultivated the ground. When it was time for the harvest, Cain presented some of his crops as a gift to the Lord. Abel also brought a gift, the best portions of the firstborn lambs from his flock. The Lord accepted Abel and his gift, but He did not accept Cain and his gift. This made Cain very angry and he looked dejected." That's a strong word.

"'Why are you so angry?' the Lord asked Cain. 'Why do you look so dejected? You will be accepted if you do what is right, but if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out. Sin is crouching at the door eager to control you, but you must subdue it and be its master.'" One day, Cain suggested to his brother--" Let me just pause and say if God asks you a question and then tells you what you need to do, you would think there would be a response.

"Why are you so angry? Why do you look dejected? If you do what is right, you'll be accepted. If you don't, watch out. Sin is lying at the door crouching like a tiger waiting to overtake you, but you must be its master, you must subdue it." You would think, he would be like, "Well, Lord, the reason why I look mad is because--" No, he ignores the whole conversation.

"Then one day, Cain suggested to his brother, 'Let's go out into the fields.' While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. Afterward, the Lord asked Cain, 'Where's your brother? Where is Abel?' 'I don't know,'" Just like an older brother. "'I don't know,' Cain responded. 'Am I my brother's guardian?' But the Lord said, 'What have you done? Listen, your brother's blood cries out to me from the ground. Now, you are cursed and banished from the ground, which has swallowed your brother's blood.'"

Four words for the title of this message, please write them down. "Kill Cain, not Abel," "Kill Cain, not Abel." Believers, let's pray over the Word, shall we? Holy Spirit, help us to kill Cain. Amen. [laughs] Well, now, we're going to pray about what the Lord wanted me to talk about as it relates to giving. Where did He want me to start? I was surprised that He wanted me to start as strongly as this. First word in the message, "Kill something."

What I realized is that God is serious about the heart. In pursuit of the heart, there are some things that we have to admit that live and reside in our heart that are not like God and actually cause there to be an obstacle course from the Holy Spirit being able to do things freely through us because of the things that we have in our mind and the things that we have lodged in our heart.

What's interesting when I began to read through Genesis and this particular narrative, the Holy Spirit reminded me about the simplistic way that you can look at the very first four chapters of the Bible. Chapter number 1, Genesis 1. If you were to literally boil down what is Genesis 1 all about, it's all about God, His sovereignty, and creation. It's about creation. If you were to boil down Genesis 2, what is Genesis 2 all about? If you boil it all the way down, Genesis 2 is all about marriage. He takes the woman out of the man and brings them back together.

This is the bedrock of all human civilization, is the institution of marriage. Genesis 3, if you boiled it all down, what would it be about? Genesis 3, if you boil it all down, it's all about behavior. They were tripping and they started tripping quick. One of the things that I'm going to really, really enjoy if I have the opportunity when I get to heaven if I even care after I hug King Jesus and thank God and be grateful to the fact that I get to worship him for over a thousand years and more for the rest of eternity, I'm going to go say, "Is Eve up here?"

"Is Adam--" "You don't want to see Apostle Paul. You don't want to see Peter. You don't want to see John?" No, I need to talk to them first two because it would have been cool if we had 11 chapters that was just really good before you just failed. After you was created and you was married, the next chapter, you already messed up? How long were you in paradise? It's all about behavior. In Genesis 4, I want you to think about the progression. One is creation, two is about marriage, three is about behavior, four is about giving.

The 4th chapter of the Bible, God says, "I don't want anything else to be said about human history at the establishment of it until we address giving. Because if I don't address the way that I want people who relate to me and love me to give, then our relationship is going to suffer as a result of it." There's three things that I observed about Cain as I read Chapter 4:1-11 and these are the three points to this message, okay? Are my nerds got their books ready? Why?

Y'all my people for life. I love y'all. Nerds rule the world. I want to give you the three things I observed about Cain. Here's point number 1. It wasn't about what Cain gave to the Lord. It was about when Cain gave to the Lord. The issue in this narrative between God and Cain is not about what Cain gave to the Lord. It was about when Cain gave to the Lord.

Here's what it says in Genesis 4:3, "When it was time for the harvest, Cain presented some of his crops as a gift to the Lord." Can we just pause and say, "I'm grateful that Cain had a heart to give at all"? Before we judge Cain, can we all agree that at some point in our life, we've been selfish? At some point in our life, we were like, "I don't feel like doing all that"? Anybody ever said, "This is mine"?

Anybody ever eaten at a nice restaurant and then asked for a to-go box? When it got to your table, you close the lid and you took a fork or a spoon and carved your name in the top of the box so that when you come home to refrigerate it and somebody pulls it out, you want them to know whose it is. Now, it was only four y'all at the restaurant yet you still want to write your name, "This here is mine." I'm happy that Cain had a giving heart at all, but it wasn't about what Cain gave. It was about when he gave it. A lot of people have looked at this text and said, "Well, it's because Abel's sacrifice bled and Cain's did not." It has nothing to do with that. If it was about that, then God would really be petty because He would be saying, "Hey, I only like people that are shepherds." We would all have to be shepherds right now if that was the case.

If He set this precedent all the way back, then we would all be outside tending some sheep. "Hey, man, why are you out of here with all these sheep?" You know what I'm saying? "The Lord just likes sheep. You got to tend to Him. This is the only offering that He'll take." No, it's not about what he gave. What he gave wasn't the issue. His vocation was tilling the ground, and so he got produce and grain and vegetables and fruit from the ground.

Abel's vocation was that of a shepherd. What he gave wasn't the issue, when he gave was. Abel gave the first and the best of what he got from his sheep. Cain gave some of the stuff that he got from the ground. God's up there looking at it and He's going, "Oh, this is interesting." There's going to be a very teachable moment here because without there being a law from Moses, without there being a commandment to tithe, without there being any passage in scripture-- Let me just back up even further.

Before there was ever a Jew because we are literally eight chapters from Abraham being called out from the nations and made the first Jewish person, before there was even a Jewish person to institute what a tithe was, at the very beginning, God wants us to know giving has nothing to do with law and everything to do with your heart. The first two kids on the planet and the lesson that He wants to give us is giving.

Hey, I don't care what it is you do. When it comes to giving, I do care when you do it because when you do it lets me know if I'm on your mind or not. When you do it actually lets me know if you're thinking about me first or not. When you do it lets me know if you know who gave this to you in the first place. What you have to give is not my issue, when has always been my issue, which brings us to point number 2. Cain's gift was an extension of himself. Cain's gift is an extension of him.

You cannot separate the gift from the giver. The gift that's being given is coming from the heart of the person that gave it. Here's what it says in Genesis 4:5, "But He did not accept Cain," get this, "and his gift." It didn't just say, "He didn't accept Cain's gift." It says, "He did not accept Cain and his gift." For Abel, it said, "God accepted Abel and his gift," then it said, "But He did not accept Cain and his gift."

Why? Because the gift cannot be separated from the giver. "This made Cain very angry and he looked dejected." Have you ever been out with a family member or you've been out on a date, or you're married and you go out and you're sitting there watching your loved one or your family member or your spouse eat something that looks great, and you're just looking like--

You wait a few minutes and then something like this comes out of your mouth, "Were you going to offer me some? You're just going to eat that in front of me. You're not going to even--" You just go over there and be, "Oh, this is good." "Were you going to offer me any of it?" That person might respond by saying something like, "Oh, do you want some?" To which you respond, "Not now."

Anybody ever done that? "I wanted some, but I thought you would have offered. I didn't know I had to ask." What is the person saying? "I wasn't thinking about you. You were not on my mind." Now that I've even asked, were you going to offer me any? Oh, do you want some? Not now because of the way that you've given it. I want you to imagine somebody saying, "Hey, I really feel loved and I really feel adored by you when you buy me roses. I know they're going to die, but I just like roses. I like the way they smell and they're pretty. Could you give me some roses? Because I feel loved when you get me roses."

Well, there's two ways that you could actually give the roses. You could buy the roses and present them in a lovely box or a lovely vase and say, "Hey, sweetheart, I know that you said you love roses and I wanted to give them to you." You receive that. Then I want you to imagine somebody goes, "Oh, okay, that's what they want," and they go get the roses and they come in and they're like, "Here."

You wanted roses, right? Did you get what you wanted? You did, right? You wanted roses. You got them, but did you get them how you wanted it? No, you did not get them how you wanted it. Cain didn't realize why his gift wasn't received. It wasn't received because of when he gave it. Here's the thing. God can't separate the gift from the giver. When He looks at the gift, He looks at you. There's no way He can detach you from the gift. You can't give something nasty to somebody and then they go, "Hey, I don't like this gift, but I still love you." They only get you crazy.

If you have a peanut allergy and somebody buys you a Snickers bar and they know you have a peanut allergy, are you going to be like, "Hey, man, I sure do love you, but this will actually murder me."

"I'll die, so I can't eat it." No, you get the gift, but you look at the giver because you go, "Do you know me? Are you intentionally trying to murder me? Because I'll die." If you need scripture for this, it's in the quintessential scripture of all scriptures, John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever would believe in Him, Jesus, will not perish but have everlasting life." You can't separate the gift from the giver.

The reason why you know God loves you so much is by what He gave you. When did He give it to you? Before the foundations of the world. He gave you first. Why? Because He had you on His mind, which brings us to point number 3. Cain refused to give up, so he gave in. Cain refused to give up, so he wound up giving in. Here's what it says, "You will be accepted if you do what is right."

Pause. Can we stop right here? Does anybody know what the right thing was to do? Pop quiz. Does anybody know what the right thing was to do? Shout it out. Giving first. He saw what his brother did and then he knew what he did. He saw Abel and his gift be accepted. He saw him and his gift get rejected, so God says, "You will be accepted if you do what is right." Right then, he had an opportunity to change his mind. Right then, Cain had an opportunity to give up thinking what he thought a good gift was.

If you refuse to do what is right, then watch out. Sin is crouching at the door. Listen. Oh, my goodness, I wish. Oh, I'm so glad I'm back. Giving affects your behavior. If you do what is right, you will be accepted. If you refuse to do what is right, watch out. The moment you stop doing right, you have an opportunity to sin. Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. There's what it says, "You must subdue it and be its master."

Do you know what the right thing to do is? Cain had the opportunity to do the right thing. Because he didn't give up, he wound up giving in. What is giving in look like? Compromise. What is giving in look like? Rebellion. Can I just pause and give you a sobering context? Do you know the first murder in the Bible had to do with an offering? I just want you to let that marinate. Abel and Cain were not beefing. "My brother been tripping too much. If he come off at the mouth one more time, I swear I'll smack him."

The first murder wasn't about a beef. It wasn't about somebody talking behind their back. It wasn't about somebody cheating with somebody, with another person. The first murder was over an offering. The first murder in human history is between two brothers that came out of the same womb and it was over a gift. What is God trying to strongly imply here? That if you don't get giving right in your heart, you have the propensity to do anything. Oh, that stunk.

I knew that was the Lord, right? Wow.

Let me say that again because that was not me. When you don't get giving right in your heart, you have the propensity to do anything. If he's not the first person you're thinking about when it comes to your gift, you have the propensity to do anything with that money and with your life. My best friend Cory and I had an incredibly rare opportunity last year. Well, I watched a documentary that just literally blew me away. I watched it about nine times maybe in five or six days. I couldn't get enough of this documentary.

The life of this particular individual was very compelling to me. Everybody that I was talking to, I was sharing it with them. I'm like, "You got to watch this documentary." I became an evangelist for this documentary. "Have you seen the documentary yet? Whoa, you got to watch the documentary. Watch the documentary, watch the documentary." One of my godsisters who lives in Los Angeles, I text her. She texts me and I text her back and I said, "Have you seen this documentary?" She said, "No, but I know his son, the guy that was in the documentary. I know his son." I said, "What?" She said, "Do you want to meet him?" I said, "What?"

She said, "Yes, he owes me a favor. We're in the industry together in Hollywood. If you want me to connect you with him, I'll connect you with him." About six hours later, we were on the text thread, me, her, and the son of the father in this documentary. I'm going, "Hey, man, I don't know if you got some time, but I'll make some time. I just want to meet you. Your father is amazing. The fact that you're his son and you grew up in that house, and during that time, I would love to just spend half a day with you." He said, "Oh, how about next week?" I was like, "What? I'm coming through?"

I booked a round trip ticket to LA for a day, okay? I flew in that day. I flew out that night. I'm from Southern California, born and raised. As soon as we landed, I went to the Roscoe's Chicken 'N Waffles off Manchester. Bless God.

Because that Lo-Lo's in Southlake is trash. Trash. I said it with my chest, it's trash.

Daddy and I went in there after a funeral and we ate that chicken. We was like, "Come on, Lo-Lo. Go home, Lo-Lo. Take your Kool-Aid with you, Lo-Lo." Lo-Lo's is trash, so anyway, [chuckles] I'm still feeling that thing. If you work there, you're not trash. Where you work is trash.

We went to Roscoe's. It was great. Because we were only going to be there for half a day, we didn't get a rent-a-car. We just Ubered. We Ubered to Roscoe's and we actually had to Uber to where this guy lived. We've never had as much bad luck getting an Uber as we did this day. The Uber that came to pick us up was three-toned in the color scheme and it had flame stickers on the side. I would never be embarrassed to get in any Uber going anywhere, except we were going to a very influential person's house who was a multi-millionaire and we're rolling up in an Uber in a Hot Wheels car.

He told us that there was a certain time window that we could come over and so we wound up going to the mall first and I said, "I have to get this guy a gift. I can't just show up to his house without a gift. He's given us this time," but what do you give a multi-millionaire? He already got money. It's not about money. It's about the thought. I don't know what this guy wants. I don't know what he likes, but I go to the Louis Vuitton store and I walked in. I don't own nothing Louis, okay?

I walked in there because I'm thinking millionaires probably got money for Louis. I don't, but maybe he does. I walked in there and I looked around and I'm like, "Do you give him a belt? I don't know this dude." I went up to the front and I said, "Can you give me just a gift card? I want a $1,000 gift card." They said, "Oh absolutely." Louis is bushy. Louis got a little leather sleeve, leather, to put the gift card in, and then you put it in a box, and then put it in another box, and then put a bow on it, and then handed it. I was like, "It's just a gift card. I'm not used to all of this." I took that box and we got in the Hot Wheels car.

We got the address and he pulled up. When he got to the corner of the guy's estate, I said, "We can get out right here."

"I can go now and get out." We got off the car. I waited for him to drive off because he had to go up to coat a second and come back down. When he [mimics car], then I was like, "Okay, we clear. We clear." Run the doorbell, he opened the door to this incredibly beautiful home. I said, "Thank you so much for allowing us this time." Hugged each other and I handed him the gift card. He took the gift card. He said, "Oh man, thanks." Put it on the little table in the foyer and we sat down. He gave us over four hours of his time to just talk. It was amazing.

I let him know, "Hey, I appreciate you giving me this time and this connection, but I'm not going to abuse it. I'll delete your number if you want me to." He's like, "No, no, no, keep my number. If you ever need me for anything, holler at me." I was like, "Okay." We get back on the plane. I get home. Around 10:30 that night, I get a text from him. He goes, "Man, I so enjoyed our time together. Thank you so much for that gift card. I really appreciate it. Please lock my number in. If you need anything from me, you call me and let me know." Scripture says a gift will make room for you.

That scripture is written in Proverbs. A lot of people have tried to sew that into the spiritual gifts that God gives in the New Testament. In Romans and Corinthians, it's not talking about that. It's talking about an actual gift. I wound up with access because I thought about him. I couldn't give him no more money, so I simply gave what I could. It was the thought that counted. Cain and Abel represent the two givers in human history, but Cain and Abel represent the two types of givers in humanity. You are either Cain or you are Abel. Kill Cain, not Abel. Not killing Cain will ensure that you wind up killing something else. Because Cain wouldn't kill his pride, he killed his brother.

Because Cain wouldn't kill his ego, he killed his brother. We all have the capacity to kill. Let's just make sure it's what is within us and not something outside of us.

Would you bow your heads and close your eyes? What is the Holy Spirit saying to you through this message? What I am certain of is that God is ready for you to become the type of giver that he dotes upon. For some of you as you were listening to this message, you were getting confirmation that, "Man, I have the heart of Abel. I'm grateful for what God has given me and the heart He's given me to give, the lessons I've learned around giving."

For others, as you were listening to this message, perhaps you were getting a check in your heart. Maybe some conviction of the Holy Spirit that you have some Cain-like tendencies and you're really comfortable with giving some, but you've never been comfortable with giving your best. Kill Cain, not Abel. One of the humorous things that I felt like I saw as I looked at both of the names is that there's only one letter in Cain's name that keeps his name from being "can," and it's "I."

I want you to imagine that the first two children in all of human history were one letter away from being can and able. I can and I'm able to give. Only one letter separates Cain from "can" and it's "I." If you don't kill that "I," you'll kill something else. Holy Spirit, I pray for my brothers and sisters, Your sons and daughters, and I ask that You would give each and every one of us the opportunity to grow as givers throughout the course of this series. I pray that we would declare that we give up so that we can also declare that we give up. In Jesus' name, Amen. I love you, guys. Bye.