Connected, Week 2
Tim Rivers | April 23, 2023
Listen
Transcription
What's up everybody? Come on. Make some crazy noise if you love Jesus. Oh, come on, somebody really give Jesus some praise in this place.
My goodness, it's electric in here. I can preach in an environment like I was just going to teach, but y'all keep that energy going. I'll preach. Yay. So good to see you. I'm so glad that you're here. For all of our guests who want to say welcome to Embassy City Church, we're so delighted that you're here. Thank you for braving the weather today. I just put all my sweaters in the attic. Anybody like this kind of weather? I pray for you. I pray for you. This is not normal. This is not what God intended. He is the son of God. Oh, but I'm glad that you're here. If you're a guest with us, thank you for being here with us. If you're watching us online, thank you so much for being with us in the worldwide web. We are thankful that you're here present with us, but I also want to recognize those that are here week in, week out, all the regular folks. Can we give all the regular folks a big hand?
I've been known to talk to myself a time or two, and they say it's okay to talk to yourself. Just don't answer yourself. I answer myself all the time, though. I'm like, man, that was good, bro. I could preach you an empty room, but it's not fun. And so I'm glad that you're here so that we get to do this together. Last week we kicked off our brand new series that we're calling Connected, and this is our relationship series. Now, as I mentioned last week, oftentimes when you say you're getting into a relationship series, all the singles are like, Ugh.
And then all the married folks have been married a while are like, Ugh. But we're not just talking about being connected in a romantic relationship. This series is all about talking about relationships and connectivity from a biblical perspective. And so what we did last week is we looked at the very first recorded relationship in the Bible, which was actually between Adam and God, because God looks at Adam after he created him me, said, it is not good for man to be alone. I will make a help me fit for him. Then God gives him the essentials package, what we call the relationship essentials, the things that we all require if we are going to have good, healthy human relationships. And the four things that God gave to Adam is he gave him his identity. The second is he gave him boundaries. The third is he gave him purpose, and the fourth is he gave him rest. And God says, I'm going to give these things to you first so that when you enter into human relationships, you know who you are. You have good boundaries, you have purpose. You ain't got to look for purpose in somebody else.
We going to be cooking again here today, but you got purpose and then you can rest, rest in what you're doing, and then God will help you find that human relationship. So today we're going to continue on the conversation and we're actually going to talk about friendships. Friendships. So grab your Bibles. Let's go to John, the book of John chapter 15. We're all the paper Bible folks. How about the electric Bible? What about the screen viewers? Y'all was just a little embarrassed. No, it's why we put it up there. Anyone taking notes? Get your notes ready because we going to go a little deeper today. All right, John chapter 15, verse number 12. This is my commandment that you love one another as I loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone laid down his life for his friends. You are my friends. If you do what I commend you, I no longer, no longer do I call you servants for the servant does not know what his master is doing, but I have called you friends for all that I have heard from my father and I have that I have I've made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you
And appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide so that whatever you ask in the Father, in the Father, whatever you ask the father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you so that you will love one another. So today we're talking about friendships and my title for today is very simple. It's friends with benefits. Okay? Okay, dear Jesus, touch some of these minds out here if you feel alright. Dear Lord, we thank you so much for allowing us to be in your presence. I pray the next few moments give us ears to hear, a heart to receive and a mind to understand what your word would say to us. Let us walk out of here different than the way we walked in. We thank you in advance for what you're getting ready to do. Do what only you can do. Move as only you can move in your name, we pray in Jesus name and somebody say Amen. Amen. High five, someone next to you and say, Hey, friend. Hey friend. It is human nature to try and label people as friendly or non-friendly, purely based on the way that they look.
Yes.
Have you ever looked at someone and predetermined, they don't like people? Have you ever just looked at somebody or seen somebody's personality and been like, nah, that's that's strictly a dog person. They don't like people. And what's interesting is we can look at people sometimes, especially introverts, and we can say, you know what, introverts, they only like to be at home by themselves under a blanket in front of a fire, reading a book with no one around with gloomy weather, and they don't like people and somebody are like, that sounds like a dream, but introverts need friends. The same could be said of those that are on the opposite end of the spectrum. Extroverts, these are people that we see. They're lively and they're boisterous, and we can make assumptions that because they're in front of people and they have such a lively attitude that they have all the friends in the world, but that's not necessarily true. They're a lot of extroverts that are actually very lonely. The truth is that all of us need friends, and the reason why a lot of us struggle with friendships is because friendships are complicated. You know why? Because it requires human beings.
That's why some people are like, my best friend is a dog named Ruff.
That's an original name, isn't it, for a dog ruff. But the reality is that all of us know that relationships with other humans as complicated. In fact, Facebook, they wised up to this, right? They say you can label a relationship and then label it as complicated. The truth is everybody that you're connected to that is a human is complicated because all of us have our idiosyncrasies and our tendencies, and if you're going to get along with somebody, you have to learn how to deal with their thing. You ever met somebody and you're like, yeah, that's just their thing? Because relationships require work. You ever heard somebody say, I hate people?
Yes,
Which is a very strong term, but have you ever been there? I'm not sorry, I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about anybody out there. I'm a pastor. I love everybody, but there are some people that genuinely don't like people, and there's a word for it. It's called misanthropy. It literally means that general dislike or hatred toward other human beings.
The reality is though God is the one who invented friendships. God invented the idea of us being connected in relationship to other people. Remember we talked about this already last week when we went through Genesis chapter one and chapter two, and we read about how when God looked at Adam in his lonely condition, he said, it is not good for man to be alone, but God doesn't automatically create another human being and put them together. God says, I'm going to take you through a process of first of all, showing you who you are, your identity, right? Adam was created the image and likeness of God. Then God gives him boundaries of this. You can eat of any tree in the garden except for this tree, the tree of knowledge of good and evil don't eat through earth. God gives him boundaries. Then God gives him purpose. He brings all the animals to 'em. Hey, name these animals. Then he gives them rest. God puts a deep sleep on Adam. Then he creates, if now check this out. When he creates Eve and he brings Adam and Eve together, they don't automatically start procreating. Adam wasn't like, whoa, man, let's get behind this bush.
God brings them together to fulfill his purpose in friendship first, because the Bible says that when they come together that they were naked and they were not ashamed. If you're taking notes, write this down. True friendships require three things, transparency, vulnerability, and no shame, transparency, vulnerability, and no shame. If you are going to be in a relationship with somebody as friends, it requires there to be transparency, vulnerability, and no shame. If you're around someone that claims to be your friend and you feel shame,
That's not a relationship that you want to be in, right? So God says, Hey, this is the order that I'm going with. So when you look throughout the Bible, you can see that it is very important God has determined for us to be in human relationships. We can talk about Moses and Joshua. We can talk about Elijah and Elijah. We can talk about Ruth and Naomi. We can talk about Jonathan and David, but I think the one that exemplifies friendship greater than anybody else is Jesus Christ. So let's go back into this word, John chapter 15. Let's look at verse number 12 again. This is what the scripture says. This is my commandment that you love one another as I loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone laid down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do, when I command you, no longer do I call you servants for the servant does not know what his master is doing, but I have called you friends for all that I have heard from my father, I have made known to you.
It is very important to recognize the word that Jesus uses to kind of encapsulate his sacrificial gift toward us. It's not atonement, it's not repentance, it's not justification. Jesus says that my example to you of giving my life for you can be encapsulated by one word, and that's the word friend. Now, and in a modern Christianity, we like to add these little churchy terms, right? Man, I, I'm born again. I've repented, I'm justified. And yet Jesus said that the simple act of friendship is what has is connected to his overall love for us. Now, I want to dive into this word, friends, because the word friends is actually the Greek word pH, and the word philos comes from the Greek word phileo, which means to love. So when you look in the scriptures, which you find out that to be a biblical friend, it means one who loves.
If you're going to be in true friendship, it requires love. You can't have true friendship without true love. Now, now I have to stop though and explain to you the different types of love because in the Greek language, there are about eight different types of love, but three that we find most prevalent in the scripture, and I want to explain those to you because it's very important to understand the type of love that you share, because the type of love you share determines what type of relationship you're in, whether it's a friendship or a romantic relationship. The first definition is the word eros. It's the Greek word eros. This is where we get the modern term erotic. It's a sexual romantic, a romantic sensual type of love. It's a love that exists between a husband and wife. It's the, if I can put it in modern terms, it's the Luther Vandross. Any married folks in here, Luther Vandross type of love. It's the song of Solomon type of love. It's the turn the lights down, the kids are asleep type of love, and this is okay. It's what the Bible says that the bed is undefined within are the confines of marriage. If you're married, you should have an eros type of love. This is not speaking of tongues. Some of y'all are eros.
I just gave some of y'all a cheat coat, but this is a relationship. This is a love that it should exist between a husband and a wife. It means I want you the second type of love is the word phileo, phileo, not filet.
Some of y'all phileo. That seems like a cutting type of love phileo. It means a brotherly type of affection for one another. It's the type of love that we share in the body of Christ. In fact, when Paul begins to talk about how we should interact with it with one another in the body, he says, we should interact with each other as brothers and sisters in Christ, meaning that we share a love and affection for one another as brothers and sisters in the body of Christ. I can say that I love you. Why? Because I share a deep love and affection for you as my brother and sister in Christ. And Jesus said, this is the type of love and friendship that we should share with one another. The third description of love is the word agape, and most of us are familiar with this. It's an immeasurable, incomparable type of love. It's the kind of love that Jesus shows to humanity by sacrificing his life. Now, the reason why I need to explain to you the different types of love is, especially for some of you single folks, is you will know what type of relationship you're in based on what type of love you share.
All the singles just got nervous. You can't be calling her your sister in Christ. If you got arrows type of love for her, you can't be. I want you, but let's just do a Bible study. I told y'all we're going to be cooking a little bit. The type of love you share determines the type of relationship that you have. How do you know if your relationship has turned from phileo to eros when you start wanting to spend more and more time alone together? Because phileo a brotherly type of affection. The body of Christ type of love is always done in community. Can I cook? If you're starting to try to isolate yourself on one-on-one situations, you have moved from just being well, we just sharing the love of God. There is a vibe here and you better call it out before it's too late.
It's a different type of love, and it's important for us to understand this, right? Because as Jesus is speaking, he says, I want you to have friendships. I want you to have relationships, but recognize what kind of love that you share. All right? So Jesus, our example for friendships, and I want to look at the life of Christ because God, Jesus begins to show us exactly how to find our friends. So let's look at the life of Jesus. Jesus. He's first of all introduced to us at his birth. Then we see him again at the age of 12. Then we don't see him again until the age of 30. And at the age of 30, Jesus appears at the river where John is baptizing and Jesus rose up and John is like, oh, the lamb of God. And Jesus says, all right, I need to get baptized. John says, I can't even take off your sandals. And Jesus is like, this is how it goes through my mind, right? Jesus is like, no, I got to be baptized. So John baptizes him. He comes up out of the water, the heavens open up. The Father speaks from heaven and says, behold, this is my beloved son and whom I am well pleased. Hear him. The Holy Spirit descends like a dove. And there in the midst of everybody, the Father affirm and confirms the identity of Christ in front of everybody.
Yes,
Jesus then leaves that spot, and the scripture says that He has led into the wilderness by the Spirit. He goes into the wilderness to pray and to fast. And while he's there, Satan comes to tempt him three different times. And Jesus responds to the temptation by saying it is written. Jesus establishes in the garden his boundaries.
So number one, he establishes his identity. Number two, he establishes his boundaries. Then we see Jesus come out of the wilderness. He goes into the synagogue. He un rolls the scroll of Isaiah. He begins to read and he says, the spirit of the Lord is upon me because he has anointed me. And then he lists five things that he's anointed to do. So Jesus then establishes in front of everybody his purpose. Do you see what we're doing here? Because Jesus often referred to as the second man, Adam. So you see parallels between the first man, Adam and the garden who established a relationship with God, the Father, by receiving his identity, his boundary, his purpose, and rest. Jesus does the exact same thing before he ever calls a disciple, he establishes who he is, what his boundaries are, what his purpose is, and then the Bible says he sits down, which is the side of what rest.
Yeah, Lord,
Do you see the parallels? Even Jesus, before he got into a human relationship, at least recorded in scripture, he establishes who he is with the Father. Before you enter into too many human relationships, make sure that you find your identity, your boundaries, your purpose, your rest in God, first God. If not, you'll live a restless life, a purposeless life, an identity crisis type of life. We've got to be in relationship with God first so we don't have to walk into human relationships all shaky.
Yeah,
Even Jesus did it.
Okay? Okay. Okay. I'm getting too excited. So Jesus. Then after he does that in the synagogue, then he leaves and the first thing he does, you can read this recorded in Matthew, he goes and he picks 12 disciples. His friends, Jesus, the Son of God, decides that he is not going to do ministry by himself.
Yes, woo.
Before he ever walks on water, before he ever raises the dead, before he ever feeds 5,000 with two fish and five loaves of bread, before he ever caused Lazarus out of the grave, before he does any of his miracles, turning water into wine, he finds his friends
First.
Because even Jesus by his example, showed us that if you're really going to fulfill the purpose that God has in your life, you need to be connected in community with other people. Here's the lesson that we learned from Jesus and how he picked his friends. He picked his friends, he handpicked him. Jesus is like this.
They are not you. Definitely not you, you and you. He handpicked Jesus did not handpick the multitudes.
Come on, come on.
Not everybody that you meet is your friend. Not everybody you accept their friends request on Facebook is your BFF your best friend? Not everybody that comments is your friend. You got to a handpick. Yes, your friends. We have too many people gathering. Too many people. Yes, and claiming that they're their friends, and when they don't act like it, they're shocked and surprised you didn't pick 'em. Jesus said, I'm only going to be in relationship with the people I choose to be a deep relationship with him. He handpicks him, and this is how Jesus did it. Jesus didn't put him in a headlock and say, I'm Jesus the Christ. You will be my friend. Jesus says, Hey, I'm going this way. You want to roll. Good friendships are based on reciprocity. It is impossible to be friends with somebody that's heading in the opposite direction. This is why you need identity, boundaries, purpose, and rest so that you don't quiver and quake when you meet people as to whether or not they should be your friend. I can tell you right now, if y'all ain't heading in the same direction, we probably ain't going to be friends.
If you don't value what I value, it's going to be very hard for us to be friends. We may be associated, we may be acquainted, but we ain't friends. I know my homies come on. That's what Jesus was like, Hey, hey, I'll feed 5,000, but I'm going to chill with these 12. Yes, I'll go out to eat with you, but I have intimate conversations with them. Some people want you to be intimate with them and you're like, Hey, I didn't pick you. Can we read the scripture? Jesus said, you did not choose me. I chose you. You're my friend because I determined I want you to be my friend. I just helped somebody pick your friends. Now, let's continue to look at the life of Christ because here's one thing that Christ also determined. Christ determined that not everyone who was in the 12 was the same level of friend. Jesus said, I will hand pick 12, and those 12 are going to have a different relationship with me. So I want to walk through the three different types of friends, the three different types of friends that we all need in our lives, but that Jesus had in his life. Number one is the confidant. This is your ride or dying. This is the one that is with you through thick and thin. This is the one who knows you really well. This is the one that sees you with your hair down
Or off. I ain't judging. I'm just saying we all need that friend in our life that'll recognize us either way, but you need that confidant in your life, the person that you can be real with, that you can be intimate with that that can see all of your flaws. The person that was your friend when you had zero followers on Instagram, the person that is with you when you were just studying to be great, the person that believed in you when nobody else believed in you, the person that was with you in the most dire situation, your confidant, and Jesus had his confidants. Yes,
He picked Peter, James and John. He picked three individuals out of the 12 that were with him in his most intimate moments. They weren't just his friends, they were intimately close. Jesus, for some reason, picked these three men to come see him in very intimate moments. One of the moments that Jesus brought Peter James and John to was the Mount of Transfiguration. And if you read about the Mount of Transfiguration, you can read about it in Mark chapter nine. This is where Jesus is transfigured before them. And essentially what this event is, it was Christ unveiling himself before these three so that they were able to see the divinity and the glory of Jesus, which was normally hidden and veiled from everyone else. So the question that I have for you is who's in your life that can see you unveiled? Do you have somebody in your life that can see all of you?
Yes,
And not run off and be jealous of him? Jesus, because Jesus told the Cypress, Hey, don't tell anybody about this. This is only reserved for you. You are my confidants. I trust you to see all of me. Yeah. The second event that we see Jesus pulling these three into is when he goes to the and he heals driver's daughter. And this is an event where Jesus displays his great power in the midst of these three. And of course, Jesus has incredible knowledge, so he understands why he didn't invite the other nine. But there's something about these three that were there to see Jesus work in his power. Is there anybody in your life that can see you working your power without being envious and jealous? Can you operate in your full extent and them still support you? Yeah. Or are they going to walk up to you after they see you really operating and say stuff like, just stay humble. A lot of times, Hey, you got to be careful because a lot of times when people roll up to you, they've never told you to be humble. They see you get mightly used of God and they want to roll up at that moment and say, well, you know what the scripture says, pride comes before destruction and the hardest spirit before the fall. And you're like, I didn't even know you knew Bible.
You have never caught a scripture to me. Somehow you found that one. Or just stay humble. You know what I'm saying? Do you have somebody in your life that can rejoice at the fact that God is using you, that you're operating fully in your gifts and not get jealous or jaded or envious? The third example where Jesus pulls these three aside is in the garden of Gethsemane, and we know this to be the place where Jesus is showing true weakness. If it be Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but thy will be done. And Jesus also shows some agitation. Could you not pray with me for one hour? Oftentimes when we think about Jesus, we think about Jesus being stoic and perfect and never having anything. Jesus did get agitated at times. Jesus had to wrestle at times. He allowed his disciples to see him in a vulnerable state. Do you have somebody in your life that can see you in your most vulnerable state when you're weak, when you're crying, when you're agitated and not leave you,
Boy, can you be around somebody that is going to allow you to fully be you. That's called the confidant and people that study friendships and relationships and connections will tell you that if you find two or three people that will be your confidant in a lifetime, you are blessed. This is why I have my confidants and when people say, Hey, you looking for I got my confidants. I am. I'm about to be 36. I'm looking to get rid of some. No, I'm just kidding.
But you got to find your confidants and hang on to them because those are very important people in your life that the second type of friend that you need to have and that Jesus had are constituents. And constituents are for what you are for. They're not necessarily for you, but they are for the same cause that you are for they will roll with you to go accomplish a greater goal together. Now, a lot of times people will confuse constituents and confidants and they will try to attribute being a confidant to a constituent and then are perplexed when the constituent leaves. Not everybody that comes in your life come on, is going to be in your life forever. Some people are seasonal friends. They're only meant to be with you for a certain season of your life. We see this all the way throughout the New Testament, how there were some people hung out with the apostles for a season. Paul said it like this. They went out from us because they were not of us. If they were of us, they would still be with us, right? It's okay to let some people go. You know why? Because when you mature and they don't come on.
Let 'em go.
Yes, go. If you start having boundaries and self-respect and they don't let 'em go, there's some people that are just going to be constituents. They're with you as long as you're for the same cause, but as soon as you change a little bit, they will walk away and that is okay. Jesus allowed people to leave him, and he was like, it's all good. It's okay. They were here for a certain purpose. There are people that come in your life that they're only there for a certain purpose. It greets me sometimes when I hear people talk about how friends have left them and somebody pipes up and says something like, well, were they friends ever?
Yes. But they were constituents. Yes, they were friends to you in that season. Yes, as you change, your friend group will change. Did you know that you are not the same today as you was 10 years ago?
You are Jesus. Thank you.
You cannot have the same expectations of people 10 years ago, right? Today, you're in a different season of life. Has anybody been married longer than 10 years? You are not the same person that you were when y'all somehow I gave you show enough, show enough not You're not the same person. So why would your friends be the same if you've graduated high school? You know this to be true, right? You leave high school and you're like, man, we going to stay connected, blah, blah. You my ride or die fam. Then you have that family that the classroom reunion, you're like, whoa. We definitely went our separate ways. I have a class reunion every week with my brother because I was homeschooled. Oh man, that's a homeschool joke right there. But you have constituents for Jesus. His constituents were all those that were with him as long as he was fighting their cause. Isn't that an amazing that when Jesus gets to the crucifixion, no one is there except for the ladies. That's a whole nother lesson right there. I can preach you on that one for a minute. All the ladies say holla. The ladies were there
For the Bible says is in the word.
And one disciple, one of the 12th, John who was there, everybody else was gone. They were constituents. They were with Jesus as long as he was for their cause, but as soon as there was conflict that there was a separation in that they all left. And Jesus said, father, forgive them for they know not what they do. If you have had somebody walk away from you that you feel like should have been your confidant, forgive them. Yes. I just want to take a moment right now. I just feel that prompting to tell somebody, forgive them for they know not what they do. You thought they were supposed to be a confidant, but all along they were just a constituent. I can't explain the sovereignty of God. I wish I could, but God somehow knows in his foreknowledge that there are some people that are going to be with you all the way and some people that are just going to be with you seasonally. Amen. Amen. Jesus knew that and he didn't leave. He did not lay it on their charge.
Wow. Not at all.
The third type of friend that we all have and that Jesus had is called the comrade. And the comrades are against what you're against. They're not for what you're for. They're not for you. They're simply against what you're against. They fight a common enemy. They will join forces with you because you dislike what they dislike. We see this happening all the times. It's like if you have a riot or a demonstration or a boycott, people will come together from hundreds of miles away. Thousands of people will get together. They don't even know each other. They just know we have it had enemies.
We see this in the military. Thousands of people will join the military to do what? To fight a common enemy. And when they all leave the military, very few of them still remain close friends. Why? Because they were only connected by the fact that they were fighting the same fight. There are some people that are going to be in your life that are not necessarily for you. They're not even for what you're for. They're simply against what you're against. And so they will lay aside certain things. They will make certain concessions to fight the fight with you, but when that common enemy is destroyed, they leave you. Jesus had one of these, his name was Judas. In order we read John chapter 15, but in order to really understand John chapter 15, we have to go back to John chapter 13 because John chapter 13 is where Jesus begins to explain what he's about to experience in terms of giving his life and the crucifixion. And Jesus washes the feet of the disciples. The 12 are there with him. He washes their feet. And then after he gets done with that, Jesus says that one of you will betray me. And everybody's like,
Would that be
No one wants to ask the question except for the one that seems to be the closest to Jesus was John. And the reason why we believe that is number one, John tended to be next to Jesus all the time, and the scripture describes him as being the one who laid his head on the chest of Jesus. He was next to Jesus all the time. He knew Jesus intimately even, even in how he wrote about Jesus. And the scripture also calls him the one whom Jesus loved. So John seems to be very close to Jesus in this moment where Jesus says, one of you will betray me. John is right next to him, and Peter looks at John and goes, ask Him. Ask him who? You got that connection.
Ask Jesus.
You can read about it. John chapter three.
John says, who's leading up against the rest of Jesus? He goes, yo, Jesus, speaking of which is it? Any of us? And Jesus says, the one who dips the morsel with me, he is the one. Then Jesus dips the morsel with Judas in front of all of the disciples. This is the most obvious display. Here you go. Remember what I said? Dip. Jesus obviously tells the disciples who is going to betray him, but the disciples still are labeling Judas as a confidant. And the reason we know that is because Jesus looks at Judas after they dipped and he says, go do what you are going to do. And Judas leaves and the other disciples supposed that Judas went to go prepare for the meal because he held the money back.
Wow.
Jesus is blatantly telling them this joker is not on the same level as y'all. That's right. But from outward experiences, they thought We saw miracles together. Wow. We held the bread together. Yeah. We saw the miracles together. We prayed with Jesus. We saw Him at various moments. We, we've always, we've done this for the last three years. Surely Judas would not do this to the Christ.
And yet Jesus looks at us disciples after Judas leaves and he says, Jew are my friends.
Wow.
Judas was not included in the conversation in John chapter 15.
Jesus allowed 12 people to get close to him, and he identified very quickly, you're going to be my confidants. You're my constituents. You're my comrade. How do we know this? Well, if we go on further in the story where Jesus is now in the garden and Judas comes to him with all the soldiers to betray Jesus, he once up to Jesus and he gives Jesus a kiss to identify the Jesus' demand. Jesus looks at Judas and says, friend, do what you came to do. But the word friend here is different than the word that we see in John chapter 15 for friend, the word friend here. And this passage is through a Greek word, and it literally is translated comrade.
Wow.
Jesus knew you that Judas was just a comrade, but he still allowed Judas in his life because Jesus knew I have a greater purpose that requires all types of friends in my life. And Jesus could have left there and been so bitter at Judas that he turned everybody away because haven't we done that? Yes. When one of our 12 betray us, Woohoo. It can so easily affect us in a way that we start holding everybody at arm's length. Yeah. Because we're suspicious of everybody being Judas. You got real close to me. You dipped with me. You, I washed your feet. All this about my family. I told you everything about my dreams. And if we're not careful, we will start holding everybody at arm's length and we will live a life of isolation and just let people in so far, because we're afraid that everybody's a comrade. Jesus exemplified to us that if you are going to do what God has called you to do, you need people in your life. You need to be connected to other human beings. Because when it's time to feed the 5,000, you can't do it by yourself. Jesus broke the bread. He gave it to his disciples who gave to those that were hungry. You have to have people in your life that are going to help you accomplish the purpose that God has for you. And there's reciprocity and there's community, and there's connection. It is not good for men to be alone.
I went through this myself when I felt the call, oh,
I'm going to get through it. When I felt the call to preach, I preached in a certain type of church environment that had a certain theology, a certain philosophy, and my thinking began to change a little bit about some of the philosophy, some of the teaching, some of the theology. And so as I started to change a bit, people that I thought were my confidence, pastors and preachers that I shared my heart with, that prayed for me, that I prayed for them, that I preached in their churches disappeared. And I remember I went through a season where I was like, you hate, I can't even call you to talk about what I'm thinking.
And I was in a season where I felt incredibly alone. I didn't feel like I had a single friend, but I had one and his name was Jason Hood. God gave me a friend that even when we started changing some of our belief system, he would call me and say, Hey, how you doing, Tim? How are you doing? And I'm talking. I preach for dozens of people and they all were gone. Now, they didn't write me a letter of rebuke. They didn't call me and tell me I was wrong. They just disappeared. They were constituents. Once we changed what we were for, they were gone. But God gave me one guy that I could tell him I'm struggling, bro. And he would hear me. We were brothers. And unfortunately, the reason why I get emotional about it is he died unexpectedly in 2015. And when I got the text, I was heartbroken because he was my confidant. But I tell you this to tell you that no matter what season of life you go through, God will provide you someone. Yes. And since that moment, I've found more confidants men that in this season of my life, I can can tell 'em I'm struggling. I can tell 'em I'm fighting through some stuff. I can tell. I need you to pray. I can tell him, Hey bro, I'm about to lose my mind.
God's provided those confidants. But I'm telling you my own personal story to tell you that we can sometimes go through hardship in friendships. And when we do, it can be be so hard to enter into relationships and friendships because we've been hurt and out of a defense mechanism. We hold people at arm's length. But if Jesus allowed Judas to kiss him on the cheek, how much more should we be open to let God bring people into our lives?
That could be our friends. Does this make sense?
God wants you to have friends, but not every friend is going to be on the same level. So my encouragement to you today is look through your phone and ask yourself this question. Is this my confidant? My constituent on my comrade? Because if you can determine that on the front end, you won't be surprised when they act like the category that you identify. Of course you left. You were a constituent. Of course you walked away. You were nothing but a comrade. But bro, but sis, oh, you're a true confidant. You supported me all the way through all his bow eyes closed. Well, I feel like praying for somebody here today that has dealt with the betrayal of a friend. There's some people in here that you want to be in relationship. You want to be in a friendship. You want to be connected, but you're still dealing with the residual of a hurt. If you would be so bold
As to slip your hand up, if you have dealt with any kind, a situation like that, it could be, could be a marriage, it could be a friendship, it could be a family relationship. Just lift at hand online as well. Cause I want to pray for you right now. Dear Jesus, I pray for every hand that's lifted, everyone that has ever dealt with a heart from a friend. I pray God, that you would characterize the wound. I pray, Lord God, that you would heal the wound so that they may enter into close friendships as you intended for them. I pray, Lord, God, that you would give them the strength to forgive. I pray that you would give them the strength, God to let them go. And it's not to justify the other person's actions. It's to heal their own heart. I thank you, Lord God, for the friends that you're going to bring in our lives. God, some are going to be with us for the long haul. Some are just going to be temporary. Some are just going to help us win a battle. But help us to thank you for all the people that you bring into our lives.
And now, Lord, I pray for all of us, God, that we would all be bound to good friendships, that we all would find people that will aid and help us in our lives, become the individuals and the people that you've designed for us to be. Help us God, to be intentional about friendships as you were Jesus. I thank you for it. I give you the praise and glory in Jesus' name. And everybody say amen. God bless you.
