Embassy City Church

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Peace of Mind, Week 7: Recovery 202

Tim: Let me make this quick. I'm just kidding. I am so excited about this women's conference, and just to reiterate what Juliet said, we are burden people. All that means is we move and God gives us a burden. We have a lot of good ideas. There's a lot of good stuff that we could have done over the last six and a half, almost seven years. We let all those good ideas pass and we let the God ideas stick. Right? It would be a good idea if we did this. It'd be good idea if we said that, but then when the God idea comes, you know because of the response that it has.

I think this year, God's going to do something significant for the women in this church and for the women that know the women in this church. I'm excited about it. If you have your Bibles, I want you to get them. We've been in a series called Peace of Mind. The whole journey that we've been on has been on mental health. Has it blessed anybody besides me? I know it's brought up a lot for some people, but there's been some breakthroughs and we've been getting testimonies literally every single weekend.

I know for a fact that you all are using the resources that we've been putting up on the screens because those counselors and those therapists have literally told us, we have more people coming from your church to our office than from anywhere else right now. The fact that you are following up and initiating, getting your own healing, your own freedom is such a powerful thing. I believe I have one more weekend after this, which means that the last message of this series will be on Mother's Day. Now, again, because I'm a burden preacher, I've never looked at certain days and thought to myself, "I must have a message for mothers." No sleight to mamas, but you all need the word too.

I just note to deliver my burden. If you bring your mother next weekend, like, "Come to church, it's Mother's Day." Mama, if you bring somebody that usually doesn't come to church and you're like, "It's Mother's Day. You got to join me and then feed me eggs." Whatever you want, I just want you to know that I'll still be in this series and that's no sleight to you. We'll honor you, but then I got to get back to work. We just want all the mamas to have no trauma. If you are a mama minus the trauma, I think you'll be good for your spouse and your kids and everybody else, your grandkids and all that stuff.

Can we give it up for Tim Rivers? I know he's not here today, but Tim Rivers did an incredible job last week talking about being caught and the fact that if you do get caught, it's actually God's grace that you get caught. It's not that He's mad at you, it's that He wants to save you. I've been in a message, it's called Recovery. The last time I spoke was Recovery 101. This weekend is Recovery 202. I'm taking you literally through the three stages of trauma recovery. The first stage was stabilization and safety. If you haven't listened to that message, I encourage you to go back and listen to that.

This is Recovery 202. Again, I don't come up with jazzy titles. I just want to get to work. Is that all right? I want to read you what stage two was really about first and then I'm going to read you some passages of the Scripture, then I'll give you some points, and then we'll go home. Well, we'll go to a hotel. I don't know what y'all are going to do.

Here's what it says. Stage two, coming to terms with traumatic memories. This is what we want to talk about today. Coming to term with traumatic memories. At this stage, this is what it says, the client works to overcome the fear of traumatic memories so that they can be integrated. Allowing appreciation for the person he or she has become as a result of the trauma. Let that marinate real quick. That's a good line, because if you can recover from your trauma, you can appreciate what you've been through and celebrate what God has done as you have recovered. That means you're no longer in it as a victim. You can remember it as a victor. Okay?

In order to metabolize, not just verbalize memories, clients may make use of EMDR, hypnotherapy, or mind-body therapy. Stop right there, because I know a lot of people could get scared when you hear the word like hypnotherapy or something like that. I don't do hypnotherapy, but I do do EMDR. EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. I'm just glad I remembered that. There's a lot of people that believe that there's some kind of witchcraft going on with EMDR and they put you in a trance. No. They just put you in a calm state so that you can go back to the traumatic memories of your past, reprocess them so that they don't trigger you and you have a meltdown. It's all it means. It means when somebody brings up something you've been through, you don't spaz out.

This is already something that's in your neural network and all they do is go in and make sure that your neural network is not controlling you, but you are indeed controlling it. With that said, I'll move on. Pacing ensures that the client does not become stuck in avoidance or overwhelmed by memories and flashbacks. Since remembering is not recovering, since remembering is not recovering, the goal is only to come to terms with the traumatic past. This is such a powerful statement because a lot of people think that if they remember it and that they can talk about it, that they've recovered. We know that's not what's going on in the world right now.

People are remembering stuff and they're verbalizing stuff, but they have not metabolized that stuff. Literally, all they're doing is puking up their past and playing in it and flicking it on people. If that's not a good image for you, I don't know what it is. For all y'all that still watch Red Table Talk, how's that throw-up treating you? Because they're verbalizing it and they're remembering it, but there's no conclusion. There's no healing. There's no freedom. They're still triggered. We want to actually move to freedom and not just talking about something like it's our past, but it's still our present.

With that, let us pray. Holy Spirit, help us to recover. Amen.

Congregation: Amen.

Tim: 2 Corinthians 11 starting at the 16th verse, Paul starts a discourse with the Corinthian churches in chapter number 10. He is starting to defend his apostolic ministry. In defense of his apostolic ministry, because there are some people that think Paul's a fraud, they actually think that his pen is louder than his voice. They would literally say that Paul writes strong letters, but every time we see him in-person, he shuns back from speaking with as much force as he writes with. Paul tries to remind these people who he is.

In reminding them who he is, he disclaims and says, "Hey, I know I'm talking foolish right now. I know I'm talking reckless. I know I don't boast like the rest of you all boast, but if I had to give you my resume, here's how my resume would sound." Starting at the 17th verse of 2 Corinthians 11. 16th verse, here's what it says. "Again, I say, don't think that I am a fool to talk to you like this, but even if you do, listen to me as you would to a foolish person while I also boast a little. Such boasting is not from the Lord, but I am acting like a fool, and since others boast about their human achievements, I will too. After all, you think you are so wise, but you enjoy putting up with fools. When you put up with someone, you put up with it when someone enslaves you, takes everything you have, takes advantage of you, takes control of everything, and slaps you in the face. I am ashamed to say that we've been too weak to do that, but whatever they dare to boast about, I'm talking like a fool again, I dare to boast about it too. Are they Hebrews? So am I. Are they Israelites? So am I. Are they descendants of Abraham? So am I. Are they servants of Christ? I know I sound like a madman but I have served Him far more.

I have worked harder, been put in prison more often, been whipped times without number, and face death again and again. Five different times, the Jewish leaders gave me 39 lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent the whole night and day adrift at sea." Can I just stop right here? This is a testimony. If this dude was in the churches we grew up in, first given out under God who was the head of my life, just want to tell you a little bit about what the Lord has brought me through. Most of our testimonies are like, "You know what? My car engine broke down and I was stranded on 35, but the Lord came through." I didn't even know my AAA status was still active and--

[laughter]

God came in and He helped me out. Saints, I just want to thank the Lord. Praise the Lord Saints. I just want to give you a quick testimony. My AC went out, it was 92 degrees at night in my house. We were sweating and we tested that deodorant to see if that 48-hour rule still applied, but then God made a way. There was a stimulus check that I forgot to cash and God came through and I was able to get the AC fixed. We're like, "Yay." Paul's over here like, yay we all got it. Is that all? I bear the marks in my body.

Congregation: Yes

Tim: I've been with God. I have traveled on many long journeys. I have faced danger from rivers and from robbers. Go ahead and get poetic now. I have faced danger from my own people. The Jews as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, and in the deserts, and on the seas. I have faced danger from men who claim to be believers but are not. I have worked hard and long and doing many sleepless night. I have been hungry and thirsty, and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold without enough clothing to keep me warm. Then besides all this, I have the daily burden of my concern for all the churches. Who is weak without me feeling that weakness? Who is led astray that I do not burn with anger? If I must boast, I would rather boast about the things that show how weak I am.

God, the Father of our Lord Jesus who is worthy of eternal praise, knows I'm not lying. When I was in Damascus, the governor under King Aretas kept guards at the city gates to catch me. I had to be lowered in a basket through a window in the city wall to escape from him. This is a man that had just communicated to the entire church, the traumatic experiences that he's been through. He was able to articulate these traumatic experiences without causing them trauma in the process. Let me say that there is- Ooh I didn't know this was coming out. Okay, Holy Spirit. Okay. There are some people that are leading churches, not through a place of restoration, but through a place of their still open brokenness.

Congregation: Amen.

Tim: Some of these churches become very, very large. It looks very, very successful from the outside. Upon further inspection which you find, is that this is not influence, this is an infection. The difference between influence and infection, is that for an infection to spread and to grow, you need an open wound. If I have a wound and you have the same wound, we identify with each other, so we all come together. Then you find somebody else that has that brokenness, and somebody else that has that brokenness, and before you know it, everybody's in the room talking about their brokenness. Talking about their past as if it's the past, but it's really still the present.

Influence means, the way that that spreads is that you actually have an open heart. You're ready to receive something from somebody that has gone through something and is clearly on the other side of it, and does not use that as the foundation of their entire ministry. Is it laid on Jesus Christ as our Chief Apostle, or is it laid on your brokenness? We all are broken and we all got problems and we all got situations. You know what I've been through. You know what my struggle has been. Then you're like, "I know exactly what your struggle has been because it's like mine. My struggle's the same way."

That message was amazing. It's like, "No, but he just preached his struggle. He didn't even go to the Bible."

Congregation: Wow.

Tim: Paul articulates this not for sympathy. It was to calibrate everybody that was reading his letters that, "Listen, I've been through things that the other people won't even talk about. They keep talking to you about how amazing they are, giving you a list of all of their strengths and all of the things that they do. Well, I am coming to you very transparently and very authentically to tell you, I've been through hell and God has brought me out. I'm not even mad at the people that beat me. I pray for them. I have peace even when I'm in prison. On the days that I was starving, I rejoiced."

That's somebody who has metabolized the trauma and said, "God is still good in spite of what I've been through." He doesn't list his trauma and go, "Where was God? I prayed and I fasted and I gave my tithes, how come God didn't come through for me?" He understands that his traumatic experiences and his relationship with God is not enmeshed. God didn't make me go through this to prove to me that He loves me. He wasn't somehow trying to put me through a strange test to see if I would pass it. Life happens to everybody. I was in the studio with my friend a couple weeks ago, and he made this statement. This statement is so hood, but as soon as he said it, I completely understood it. It was intrinsically like, "I didn't know I needed to hear this statement. How come it's not in the book of Proverbs? He just said, "Man, life be lifing."

[laughter]

Ain't it good? It seemed like, "What does that even mean?" Soon as you heard it, you get it, don't you? "Life be lifing." When you understand "Life be lifing", then you understand that God is there to navigate and be with you through your life as opposed to, He's putting you through an obstacle course so you can prove how much you love Him, and then to prove that He loves you. I remember being in the session many, many years ago with a counselor. They were taking me back to a traumatic memory. The traumatic memory was me being molested by my neighbor across the street. He says, "I want you to tell me where God is. Close your eyes, pray. I want you to say, Jesus show me where you are in this picture." I got my eyes closed and I'm praying. I said, "Jesus show me where you are in this picture." In this first picture, the first image that I saw was Jesus standing, looking at my abuser abusing me and saying, "It's okay, son, I'm here for you. You're going to be all right." That's what I told my counselor.

He said, "Open your eyes." Opened my eyes. He was like, "Hey, we're going to do this again, but I'm going to pray first." "God of the universe, you show Tim where you were on the day that he was abused." Closed my eyes again. That image of Jesus turned into a very dark figure. That wasn't Jesus. When I looked back at me, it was no longer me, it was Jesus. I began to weep. He said, "What are you crying about?" I said, "I think I see Jesus." He said, "Where is He?" I said, "He's being abused with me." He said, "That's where He's always been, because He just didn't die for the sins of the world, for what people did, He also died for what was done."

Congregation: Yes. Yes.

Tim: Do you know how that changed me? Do you know that I can look back on that memory now and know that God didn't put me through that to make me who I am. I'll never forget somebody coming up to me when my brother got killed. My brother Miles was killed in a car accident on September 17th, 2004. Most traumatic thing I've been through in my life. It was more traumatic than the sexual abuse. I remember, sometimes when people are grieving and other people don't know what to say, so they say stuff, and you just have to be like, "Wow, you should shut up. Just don't talk. Before you say something dumb, don't talk. I'd rather you just sit with me in silence, than to say something dumb. I was a preacher at the time. I was an elder at the church I was at. I already knew the Bible. I didn't need a scripture, I already knew know it. Sh, sh, sh. [laughter]

Then this person comes up to me and they were like, "Hey, I heard you lost your brother." I say, "Yes." They were like, "I just feel like God's going to give you a greater anointing now that your brother has passed." I said, "Okay, let's stop. I don't want it. How about that? How about I didn't even ask for a greater anointing? Are you telling me that my brother's death is so that he can give me a greater anointing? How about I don't want the anointing, I want my brother? Because the one I was operating in was cool. There was nothing wrong with the anointing I had."

If we keep thinking that God is putting us through stuff to get like, here you level up every time you go through something. No, life be lifing. Proverbs 32:1, life be lifing.

[laughter]

Okay. Let's just acknowledge that life happens, and God's with us through it all. Just like Ryan just said, his dad is going through cancer right now. Even though they walk through the valley, the Abraham family is walking through the valley of the shadow of death, but they fear no evil. You don't think his father has served God and preached in, and led an incredible church in Oxnard California? Now God's going to -- "I'm going to level you up but cancer has come first." No, cancer just be happening, because life be lifing.

Folks that love Jesus getting car accidents, because life be lifing. People lose their children, because life be lifing. People have miscarriages, because life be lifing. Not because you've done something wrong, or you've done something right, because then that means we're never going to walk on eggshells?

When I'm talking about coming to terms with traumatic events, I'm talking about you being able to metabolize and just go, "You know what, I hate that that happened, but God is still faithful."

[applause]

"I know God didn't put me through this situation, but He was with me through this situation and I'm coming back on the other side better because my God is faithful and He won't leave me in a broken place." When you get healing like that, when you get a message like that, you can recover, but you cannot recover if you just keep repeating the same narrative, "Broken, broken, broken." On a loop? "Your breakthrough's coming, your breakthrough's coming, your breakthrough's coming." When are you going to get it, though? When are you going to keep it? Point number one.

[laughter]

You feel me? I'm giving it to you on this good old anniversary day. Let's get it. Remembering is not recovering. Point number one, remembering is not recovering. It's not enough for you to remember what's happened to you in your past. It's not enough that you can even verbalize it. Has it been metabolized? Has it been integrated into your mind that what you've been through does not define you? Remembering is not recovering.

Here's what it says in Exodus 12:14, God says this to the children of Israel on the day that they would literally exit Egypt. This is a day to what? Remember. Each year from generation to generation you must celebrate it as a special festival to the Lord. This is a law for how long? All time. God says to the children of Israel, "Listen, I want you to understand something. I'm going to do something for you. I'm bringing you up out of Egypt, I'm taking you into the Promised Land. This traumatic experience that you've gone through for 400 years, I'm bringing you out of it, and as many generations that was in it, I want as many generations to be out of it and experience freedom."

See, we should get to the point that to really walk in a generational blessing means that we started to divorce ourselves from the past of our pain and we're no longer perpetuating a generational curse, we start perpetuating a generational blessing. So that from my grandfather, to my daddy, to me, to my sons, there should be a trajectory of freedom. That what bothered my granddaddy didn't bother me, and what didn't bother me no longer bothers my kids, and what doesn't bother my kids doesn't bother their kids' kids. You may be the first person in the family to break alcoholism.

[applause]

But you shouldn't be the last. You know that you're walking in a generational blessing, not for how you live the rest of your life, but how your kids' kids live their life. If you can come off of it and break it, and then your grandkid never touches it, now you're walking in a blessing.

[applause]

If you were bound by pornography and lust but your kids grow up pure, now you're walking in freedom. If everybody in your house was angry, mad, bitter, petty, and you break that and you're loving, kind, forgiving, then your kids grow up loving, kind, forgiving, and their kids grow up loving, kind, forgiving, then at the family reunion they're going to be like, "Who is you?

[laughter]

You don't look like the rest of us. What strand of Robinson are you?" We're the free strand."

[applause]

My granddad, he said, "Enough of this pettiness. We don't do this no more. We are going to love each other, we're going to forgive quickly. We're not going to let this stuff marinate and fester, and everybody going to die of heart attacks, and ulcers, and stomach cancer." God said, "Hey, I'm bringing you out. This's going to be a day that you remember. Tell everybody in your family and tell your kids and your kids' kids, and your kids' kids' kids' kids kids, this is freedom. This is what freedom looks like. I'm bringing you out." Right?

He brings them out. He brings them into the wilderness. Wilderness with their detox program. They didn't come straight out of the wilderness straight into the Promised Land. They had to detox first. Before you go into the Promised Land, you need to know who you're going into the Promised Land with. God does bring you through a wilderness season, and the wilderness season is to dry you out. Why is the wilderness? He's there to dry you out. It was their rehab clinic, it was their facility.

Before I take you into the Promised Land, I got to get the taste of your past out of your mouth. Because you're used to having a master, you're not used to having a Lord.

[applause]

You're used to having Pharaoh, you're not used to having faithful. I got to pull you out. He says, "This is what I want you to remember, I'm bringing you out of Egypt. I want you to remember this." Numbers 11, start at the 4th verse. Here's what it says, "Then the foreign rabble--" Oh, I wish I had time to preach about the foreign rabble. "The foreign rabble who were traveling with the Israelites began to crave the good things of Egypt." Can I just pause and say? The Israelites are not the first people to crave Egypt. It was the people that came with them that didn't have covenant with their God.

Please be careful of your support system and the company you keep, because sometimes the wrong company can make you relapse in the name of, that's my homie, I've known him a long time, has been my friend for down to the ground since eighth grade. Well, if you're trying to recover and move on and they're not, they'll start craving stuff that you're trying to literally break.

The foreign rabble who were traveling with the Israelites began to crave the good things of Egypt, and the people of Israel also began to complain. They didn't start it, they joined in. They wasn't even thinking about their past until somebody else triggered it. This is why your support system is so important. You need to make sure that everybody around you while you're trying to come out of trauma are safe people that don't try to just tell you to justify, "Come on, a little taste ain't going to hurt you. I know you're not drinking no more but, girl, it's a celebration. It's just champagne."

[laughter]

I don't know why I sound like Nicki Minaj right now.

[laughter]

"It's a celebration. It's just champagne." But champagne turns into a demon for you. It starts with champagne, it ends with Jack Daniels.

[laughter]

It ends with some yak and some hen. Some of y'all from Houston, it ends with lean. Only a few people know what lean is. The people of Israel also began to complain, for some meat. They exclaimed, "We remember the fish we used to eat for free in Egypt. We had all the cucumbers and melons and leeks and onions and garlic we wanted, but now our appetites are gone. All we ever see is this provision." Oh, I'm sorry. That's not what it says. [laughter]

"All we ever see is God's faithfulness. All we ever see is how God is sustaining us in this desert." That's not what they said. "All we ever see is manna." When you relapse, you even forget what God is doing for you real-time. When you relapse, you forgot how He is healing you and how He is delivering you, and how He is being faithful to you, how He is not allowing your enemies to even come near you. They forgot. "Our appetites are gone. We used to get meat and fish and cucumbers and leeks and onions and garlic for free." It was free food, you were a slave.

[laughter]

What are you talking about? It was free. You ain't paying for the manna. What is you talking? What's wrong with you? You got amnesia? No, you relapsed. When you relapse, you forget God's faithfulness. You stunt your own recovery because now, you have selective amnesia. You remembered the fish was free, but you forgot you was a slave? You got a taste for garlic, but you had to make brick with no straw? You want some cucumbers and forgot you were encumbered? Come on language. Come through SAT words.

[laughter]

Come through dictionary.com.

[laughter]

Let me start this. That's just dumb. I don't even know why I said it.

[laughter]

What are we talking about? Can we just be honest real quick? How many times have we relapsed and forgot God's faithfulness? I remember being at the bus stop right down here on Beltline because I used to live off Belt Line and Walnut Hill in some apartments. I remember being at the bus stop and some dude rolling up. I'm from California, but the South, the candy paint and rims and the thangs, and he pulled up. I wasn't married yet, baby.

[laughter]

Just got to disclaim that before I get into this whole thing. He pulls up to the red light. The whole car is vibrating, two beautiful girls in the car. I'm waiting at the bus stop to go to TXU Energy, to a call center. I'm looking, I'm like, "Really, God? For real, man? This dude got a car, two cuties. Some more oranges.

[laughter]

At the red light, all I'm trying to do is be faithful. I ain't even got a car yet waiting for the bus. Got to wait on dirt."

[laughter]

TXU is six minutes from the apartment if I had a car. It is 44 minutes because the bus, I'm just like, "Just go left, right there, dawg. If you just hit that left." I walked the rest of the way.” 

I'm literally walking on the frontage road in the grass at 7:30 in the morning, so I don't get hit by a car. He dropped me off at the AT&T, and I had to walk around the corner, and I had to-- Every morning I got to work, I had grass all in my shoes. Had to go to the bathroom first to wipe off the grass, go inside, and I relapsed. I wasn't thinking about God's faithfulness to me in that moment, the provision He was giving me. All I could think about is what I had before I said yes to Him.

Congregation: That's good.

Tim: Because remembering is not recovering. Point number two, please write this down. I only have two points because that's all you can take.

[laughter]

Apparently, God only gave me two points. I'm not saying that you can take more, but He only gave me two points. Psalm 111:1, "Praise the Lord." [screams] That's enough for me right there. You command me to praise Him, I praise Him. I leaned over to Eunice and Rory, and I said, "It's good and churchy in here this morning." That's what I said, "It's good and churchy." I clarified, I said, "I've been in churchy that wasn't good." I had the knowledge that it was good and churchy. Here it is my why, because we were being reminded of God's faithfulness, and we could praise the Lord.

I know if we opened up testimony service, there's a whole bunch of things people are going through right now. Ryan told you about what he's going through with his family and with his father, but I know everybody in here is going through something right now, and we still choose to praise Him. That'll make me go Easter on y'all so quick. When you praise God in spite of, all of hell doesn't know what to do with you. They are banking on you to have a meltdown because you had a car wreck. They are banking on you to be crazy.

Last week, I was up here counseling somebody, and our fire alarms went off at the house. The fire department came, and they're looking all through the house. They don't know what happened. Our water pressure thing broke, the water heater. The water heater broke. The water seeped and short-circuited one of the alarms, and then it just blasted the whole house. It was 4,000.

[laughter]

You felt that, didn't you, DK? 4,000. Not 400, not 1,400. 4,000. I was still counseling. Julia was like, "Baby, it's going to be like 4,000 to fix this." Now, I have two choices. Be mad that it's 4,000 or be thankful I had it.

[applause]

That's the only two things you got. I chose to be thankful. I don't want to spend 4,000 on water heaters, y'all. There's better stuff I can do with that money, man.

[laughter]

Nobody ever wants the line item at the end of the year to be like 4,000 went to water heating. I'm like, "Boil the water in a pot, throw it in a tub unless--"

[laughter]

Third world can do it, so can we. What's the problem? Praise the Lord. I will thank the Lord with all my heart as I meet with His godly people. I will thank the Lord with all my heart as I meet with His godly people. How amazing are the deeds of our Lord? All who delight in Him should ponder them. Everything He does reveals His glory and majesty. His righteousness never fails. Get this, He causes us to remember His wonderful works. How gracious and merciful is our Lord?

I'm going to ask you this question, and I'm going to go. What are you remembering? As I'm ending the whole message, what are you remembering? You have a choice of what you want to remember. You get to choose how you want to integrate and tell your narrative. I choose to tell you all that I was sexually abused when I was eight. I'll also choose to tell you, God was faithful to bring me through it. I choose to tell you that I had a porn addiction and that I was very promiscuous. I also choose to tell you more about God's deliverance from that porn addiction.

I choose to tell you that my brother was killed on September 17th of 2004, and I was suicidal to the point that I had my dad's revolver in my hand cupped. I also choose to tell you that without calling a suicide hotline, the Holy Spirit made me put that gun down, so I could tell you that He is faithful. Even on your darkest day and your deepest pit, God is faithful.

[applause]

I can choose to tell you about the dark days in my marriage. I can also choose to tell you this is 23 years, and we're still going strong because God is faithful. What will you remember? What will you declare? What will you tell people? You get to choose it. You choose what you want to remember. You want to rehearse how to pass bad stuff? You will continue to have past bad traumatic memories, or you can choose to remember that He brought me out.

Congregation: Hallelujah.

Tim: He touched my mind. He made me crave something else besides the stuff that kept me in slavery. I don't desire slave food no more. I'm not eating chitlins on Juneteenth. My ancestors didn't get through all that stuff they've been through for me to still eat pig's guts. I'm having sea best.

[applause]

Oh.

[music]

Choose manna. The manna didn't taste like nothing. Thank you Holy Spirit. The manna it didn't taste like nothing. It was supposed to taste like nothing. It was supposed to cleanse your palate. The manna wasn't meant to replace the meal you had in your bondage. The manner was meant to erase the taste of what you had in your past, to prepare your palate for what you were about to receive. Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good.

Congregation: Amen.

Tim: [screams]. Taste and see that the Lord is good. How could you know how creamy the milk is in the Promised Land, how sweet the honey is in the Promised Land if you still got fish breath? Do you know the type of clash garlic and honey would have? Do you know what type of clash cucumbers and milk would have? God said, "I'm going to erase that off your palate and I'm going to give you this manna. This manna will act as a sorbet. I'm going to cleanse your palate so that when you get into the Promised Land, the first glass of milk you drink you go, "What? Is this what freedom tastes like?"

That first drop of honey you put on your toast. "Is this what freedom tastes like? Oh, well, no more cucumbers if this is what He was preparing me for this whole time. He was preparing me to enjoy the rest of my life the whole time and I had the nerve to try to remind myself?"" Because God already told you what to remember. He told you to remember the freedom not to remember the bondage.

What will you remember? It's your choice. I got to be done. Bow your heads. Jesus, [chuckles] it would be so convenient if you could just wipe our memories, but that's not how you work. You want us to hold the tension of all of our bad memories and the good memories. You leave us with the choice of what to remember. God, may remember the good things. May we remember the God things. For your glory, we pray, in Jesus name, amen.