Tim: Welcome to Embassy City Church.

[laughter]

Tim: Hey, we're in a series on mental health, and, it's called Peace of Mind. Every week, we have just been peeling back layers so that we can normalize conversations around what it is to allow you to put your feelings into words. I'm going to be saying this a lot to the point that you can finish the sentence. My 11-year-old is on the front row, and he can finish the sentence for me without even being prompted but, if you do not allow words to come up and out of your mouth, then your body will allow it to come up and out in actions. We saw that last week.

I want to be very, very sensitive to the fact that, as I've stated before when I started this series that some of this stuff is triggering. What I'm grateful for is that our counseling center is overflowing, it's flooded. That is music to my ears, and, we are connecting people to therapists and counselors that we have partnerships with in the DFW Metroplex, and so, what we offer here is spiritual guidance, but we also are in partnerships with people that have some letters behind their name that can really give you context to what might be going on in your heart.

Last week, Dan Lian was here, and it was one of the most pastoral messages I have ever heard in my life. [applause] It was so good, and so, if you did not listen to that message, please go back and listen to that message. I am doing part two of Confession is Golden. Two weeks ago I did Confession is Golden part one, and that dealt with the verticality of how we confess first to God, and now this weekend, I want to talk about why confession is important to each other. If you have one without the other, you will not be complete and whole the way you should and could be.

I want to read James 5:16, and then we'll dive right in. Is that all right? James 5:16, here's what it says, "Confess your sins to each other." I wish there was a period behind that, but I love that there's a conjunction next to it. "Confess your sins to each other, and pray for each other so that you may be healed." The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power, and produces wonderful results. Now, being that I am of the Pentecostal charismatic persuasion. Born and raised on King James' version for 30 years.

The B clause of that particular scripture doesn't hit the same way it does in KJV, in King James version, it says, and I quote "The effectual, fervent prayer of the righteous of availeth much." All my KJV people. I know I needed to scratch that itch. Some of y'all were twitching like, "That ain't what that says." [laughter] It's the same but different, calm down, all right? Let's pray and we jump right in. Holy Spirit, heal our minds. Amen.

Congregation: Amen.

Tim: I'm jumping right into these points, you're about to get this work, buckle up buttercup. Three things about horizontal confession. Remember, two weeks ago, we talked about vertical confession. Our confession to God is absolutely important, and we have to start there. He's the one that created us, and so, when we sin, that is, when we fall short, that is, when we come to the realization that what we have done is completely antithetical to what God has said for us, and we actually confess, which we learned two weeks ago really means to agree with God about the way you should be living your life.

You're not just confessing something you've done wrong. You literally agree with God that what I've done is incongruent with the way that you have prescribed me to live. "You haven't told me to live like this. I went rogue for a minute. I have come to a level of self-awareness, so I'm letting you know that I want to confess to you." What we learned is that when we confess to God, that he's faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and cleanse us of all of our wickedness or unrighteousness.

I want to give you these three points as, why is it important then if you've already confessed it to God to confess it to another person? "Why would I ever do that? I already brought it to God, and He's forgiven me, so why should I bring it to you? Why should I bring it to my wife? Why should I bring it to a counselor? I'm already forgiven. I mean, I'm forgiven, and I'm cleansed, and I'm forgiven, and I'm cleansed, and I'm forgiven." You are, and you're still not complete.

I know that this is going to be tight for some of y'all because you're like, "I give everything to God, and I don't need man," which is completely antithetical to what God said based on His word in Genesis Chapter number two. "It is not good for man to be alone." This is not only a marital statement, it is a relational statement. He did not create you to do life on your own. You are not anointed to be a lone wolf.

There's only one man that could have come to earth and had the justification to live life alone because nobody was on His level. That would have been Jesus, and He didn't do it. He chose twelve men to walk with Him throughout the course of His ministry, and He had three with Him at all times. On His best day, mount of transfiguration, literally being glorified in front of Peter, James and John, and then on His worst day in the garden of Gethsemane, He had three men with Him. The only time that He was really alone is when He was on that cross because, no man could go there with Him.

I want to give you the three things about horizontal confession that you need to know. I went to my cousin Lecrae's concert last night, it was dope, and so, I did not plan this because my notes were submitted on Wednesday, but all of my points rhyme. Get these bars.

Congregation: [laughter]

Tim: Let's go. Point number one, I cannot heal what I don't reveal. I cannot heal what I don't reveal. Now, this word "heal" is very, very important. I want to take you back to James 5:16, a clause, first sentence. Here's what it says. "Confess your sins to each other, and pray for each other so that you may be--" what?

Congregation: Healed.

Tim: What?

Congregation: Healed.

Tim: What?

Congregation: Healed.

Tim: So that you may be healed. Now, let's jump back to 1 John 1:9 real quick, and let's see what happens when we confess to God. "But if we confess our sins to Him, God, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins--" and do what? Cleanse us from all wickedness. He forgives us. He cleanses us. He doesn't say anything about healing. "Are you trying to say that when I confess to God, that I'm forgiven, and I'm cleansed, but I'm not healed?" God set it up this way, vertical confession gets you forgiven and gets you cleansed, but you do not get healed until you share it with somebody else.

Congregant: I don't like that.

Tim: I love the honesty in this building. Dude said, "I don't like that." Aw. I'm about to put pressure now. Put the Scripture back up. 5:16, "Confess your sins to each other, and pray for each other so that you may be healed." I know so many people that have had so much trauma, and so much sinful behavior, and every time they foul, they go to God, and guess what? He keeps forgiving you. You could go throw yourself in the mud right after this service, and if you go, "I'm so sorry," He will just forgive you, and cleanse you. Then on Tuesday, you jump right back in that mud.

You say, "I'm so sorry again," and He will forgive you, and He will cleanse you, but there's a reason why you're not healed. There's a reason why you can't stop that behavior, because you haven't shared it with anybody else. Who else knows about your mudhole? Besides God, who else knows you like playing in the mud? You have an advocate with the Father. You can go to Him no matter what you're in, and tell Him what's going on, but until you share with someone else, you cannot be healed. You cannot heal what you don't reveal, and I'm telling you, the Holy Spirit showed me that the last 24 months has been a pressure cooker for humanity. Everything was taken away from everybody. I'm talking from the worst vices to the most lightest of guilty pleasures, they were all taken from us, and we found out when you could not numb your pain, how you handled it. Some of us didn't handle it well, because you didn't have Netflix to distract you, and you couldn't go to a play, and you couldn't go to a show, and your favorite artist didn't make a new album, and you couldn't hang out with your friends, and you were isolated and alone, because perhaps one of the things that 2020 was meant to do was to get us to stop running from ourselves.

Perhaps one of the things it was meant to do was to put you in a quarantined environment where you could not escape answering the question, "What is wrong with me? Why do I keep doing all of this? Why am I still petty? Why am I still angry? Why am I still this promiscuous? Why am I still this horny? Why am I still this mad? Why am I still this upset? Why am I still this depressed? Why am I still this anxious? What is wrong?" You couldn't numb yourself like you used to, but you didn't talk about it, and so, you acted it out. Then you asked the Lord to forgive you, and he forgave you, and you thought it was over until you fell into it again, and it's been a cycle for you that you can't break because you thought vertical was all you needed, but I'm telling you, without horizontal, you do not heal.

This is the only reason why I have freedom in my life. Not only because of what I confess to God vertically, but because of what I've confessed horizontally. In my private quiet time, the Holy Spirit was like, "This is good. I'm so glad you're here. Thank you for sharing it. Now, who else are you going to tell?"

Congregant: Come on, Tim.

Tim: I'm like, "I told you, sir. I don't see-- You're omniscient. You're omni-potent." I like saying that instead of omnipotent. I like omni-potent. "You're omniscience, you're all-knowing, you're omnipresent. Everybody else is-- I can't keep phoning a friend. It's two o'clock. I'm praying to you at two o'clock in the morning. They are asleep." "Wait till they wake up." "I mean, really, sir?" But here's what the Holy Spirit already knew that I had to find out, I cannot heal what I don't reveal.

I brought it to God, now I got to bring it to you. I brought it to God, now I got to bring it to you, because, until I do that, I don't start healing. There was a debate for years that, in the King James version, it actually says, "Confess your faults one to another," and some theologists tried to say, "Well, that's just false. It doesn't mean sin, so when I make a mistake, but I only bring my sins to God." It was like, "Psych, that is the same word in the Greek as it is in James chapter number one, it means sin."

Congregant: Yes it does.

Tim: You sin, you tell it. I love basketball. Basketball is my favorite sport. I pray to be 6'2/6'3. I pray for it, because I believe I can ask anything by faith and I can receive it, except when he doesn't want me to have it, and I realized that at 5'9 and 120 pounds by my senior year of high school God didn't want me to play basketball, and I know why. Because I would've been so good, and I would have went straight to the NBA first-round pick in the draft, and my pride would've been through the roof.

I would've been dunking on everybody. I would have made millions of dollars, it would've been amazing, then I would glorify Jesus, and he's like, "No, you wouldn't have, and that's why you're 5'9, 175 pounds, 46 years old teaching on a Sunday. I know my plans for you." Here's one of the things I hate when I watch a basketball game. It's 48 minutes, lest there be overtime, and it's a full-contact sport. Because it is a full-contact sport, the National Basketball Association allows for there to be six fouls before you are out of the game. You can foul once, twice, twice, fourth, fifth, and then after that, you're out of the game. You just can't keep your hands off anybody.

Now, you're given six fouls, why? Because it's a full-contact sport, and nobody believes, National Basketball Association or any of the refs believe that you can be on the court for any length of time and not foul somebody. You're knocking up against each other at all times, and so, at some point. Here's what I hate about the game, and the players. A guy will foul somebody, and when the ref blows the whistle, they're in shock that the ref blew the whistle. Blow the whistle. Sorry. I don't know where that came from. Lord Jesus, purge my heart. He literally acts so crazy, defensive, "I didn't even touch him." There's a ref on the court to see stuff you can't see.

Maybe you didn't see how you fouled, but trust assured, and rest assured, if the ref blew the whistle, it's because you fouled, they're at work, sir, just like you. I can't stand that person because they're always shocked every single, "Oh, my gosh." Let me tell you the people I love. The people I love are those players that when a guy's coming down the lane for a layup, they literally try to like slice them in half. They like karate-chops the dude's ribs while he's going up for a layup, and before the ref can get the whistle to his mouth, dude's like, "That was me. He has scored 14 unanswered points on me, sir, and I hate him. So, it should be a flagrant too, because I tried to kill him. I want him out of the game. He's embarrassing me."

I love people that call their own fouls, and in this message, that's what I'm trying to get the body of Christ to do. When the ref blows the whistle, don't act shocked. Just call your own foul. "That was me, Lord. I lost my cool, I did that. Take full responsibility for it. That was me. Thank you." Vertically forgiven, cleansed. Now, let me call my homie and say, "Hey, man, I got to call my own foul. I've been forgiven. I've been cleansed. I just want to be healed, and I know I can't heal what I don't reveal. I just wanted to share it with you. Can you pray for me? Can you pray with me? Because I know I can't be healed if I keep this to myself. I keep fouling in this area."

It would be one thing if the ref blew the whistle once and never had to blow it again. I've been fouled out of games for what I'm doing, and I don't want to do it, so will you please help me. Point number two, please write this down. The more people know, the less sin grows. Bars. The more people know, the less sin grows. "Are you telling me to post my fouls on Facebook? Are you telling me I need to have an Instagram post of my propensity to foul?" No, and if you do do that, stop. Don't do that, right? But what I am saying is, you should have a support system around you that knows your weak areas so that they can hold you accountable, because the more people that know, the less sin actually grows. The less people know, the more you get to move around in the dark.

The more you tell people, the more lights you're flicking on to have accountability around you. Here's what it says in James 1:13, "And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, 'God is tempting me.' God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else." Just pause right there real quick. I need to let that marinate. You can be tested by God, but you can't be tempted by God. Some people call their temptation as a test, as if God is trying to entrap you, as if God laid a trap knowing that you're too weak to handle that, and then you're like, "God has just been testing me in this area, and I just got to find a way to break through it." No, no, no, no, no. He tests you, but He doesn't tempt you, because he already knows that you're not good at that.

Why would He tempt you with something that He already knows you'll fall into? He can test you but He doesn't tempt you, okay? Let's get temptation right. Verse number 14, "Temptation comes from our own desires." Let that marinate. "Oh, this is not God. This is me?" "Oh, yes, this is you." "Which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions, and when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death." "What am I supposed to do with my temptations?" Let somebody else know, because if you let somebody else know, the sin will not grow.

You see, it's easy to go to God because you don't have to look Him in the face yet, but let me tell you where stuff start to really tighten it up for me in my walk of integrity and character, is when I have to look this beautiful, gorgeous, fine, the light with this good bun you got going on here.

[laughter ]

Tim: Nice…Yes.

[laughter]

[clapping]

Tim: It's when I had to look her in the face to say, "Hey, babe. I failed to porn." I didn't like that. "Hey, babe. I'm struggling today with pornography. I have a woo strong today. That urge is strong today." When I have to look her in the face and tell her that, "Oh, it's a different story." Before I got married when I was living in California, my parents knew about my porn addiction, and I would tell them. "Mama, daddy, oh, I fail or I'm struggling or both." It hits different when you got to look somebody in the face.

Congregant: Right.

Tim: You got to see their disappointment, and then they got to ask you questions. "How come you didn't call me?" "Man, what had happened was, you left." You was gone a long time. "I Know I'm supposed … worship music, I know I was supposed to read my Bible, but in the moment, what happened was, none of those things came up." You know what? What's going to be the plan for you not to do it next time? Do you need to go with me next time? I need a house. What's it going to be?" When you have to engage with somebody else, now, listen, I'm talking about accountability, not a parole officer.

[indistinct chatter]

Tim: I'm going to take my time on this, because, accountability became this buzzword in the church. What it boiled down to was nothing more than parole. "Check in with me on Fridays and I'm going to ask you five questions. How's your heart? How's your mind? Did you look at anybody today? Did you do anything we shouldn't know about?" If you pass the five questions, "Cool. I'll talk to you next week." That's not accountability. That's parole. You might as well put a little buzz around your ankle. No, accountability is when you're walking out life with somebody, and you get to share good, bad, and ugly.

Congregation: That's good. Right.

Tim: "On good days, I'll call you. On bad days, I'll call you." You're here for it all. You're not a fair-weather friend that only wants me because I'm good. You're also with me when I'm bad, because you know that my behavior and me are two different things.

Congregation: That's right. That's right. That's good. Yes, sir.

Tim: You can self-differentiate the fact that I am this person trying to live out this life, and I have some behavior that's incongruent with the way God wants me to live, which is why I need community, so I invite you in because I know that the more that I give to you, the lesson has an opportunity to take a hold of me. I'm trying to give y'all some practical stuff. Now, you might be saying, "I don't have anybody like that in my life right now, Tim." Or, "I've had somebody like that, and they went behind my back, and they've told some people." Okay, that person did that. That's not everybody.

What usually happens is, somebody's trust gets betrayed, or somebody burns you, and you're like, "That's why I don't talk to people." All of a sudden, it becomes this general statement. "That's why I don't fool with people, because they're all messy." Eight billion people in the world, and you have empirical data that they're all messy.

[laughter]

Tim: No, Karen's messy.

[laughter]

Tim: Only Karen. Barbara's probably cool. Karen's just messy. Charles might be messy, but Michael might be great. You have to, on an individual basis-- Oh, thank you, Holy Spirit. Oh, I didn't. For some of y'all, you just made a poor decision of friends.

Congregation: Come on. That's good. That's good. Yes.

Tim: You used to be as messy as them, but you started to get better. They didn't, and now you shout, "They messy."

[laughter]

Tim: Y'all was all messy, but you got saved a year ago, and now you think, "I don't understand why they're acting like this." That's because they still turn up and you don't. You have to switch your circle. That's on you. That's not on them.

Congregation: Yes.

Tim: I felt that.

[laughter]

Tim: Point three, please write this down. The more I say, the better you pray. The more I say, the better you pray. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. Do you know why it's effectual and fervent? Because it's informed. I cannot pray for anybody effectually and fervently if you give me generalities.

Congregation: Yes. That's good.

Tim: The more I say, the better you can pray. Will y'all please pray for me? I've had a lot going on. My father died last year. There's some issues going on in my life. There's a lot of bitterness and resentment that's on the inside of me, and every time I get in a situation where I feel like I'm about to be abandoned, I usually attach myself to very unhealthy behavior. Let me tell you what it looks like for me. It might not be the same for you. My attachment to unhealthy behavior usually involves a pound of weed and some cognac. "Oh, now I can pray pretty specifically for my brother."

"Hey, Lord, in the name of Jesus, would you heal the brokenness he has in his heart from the loss of his father? This bitterness and resentment that he has, God, would you allow him to have words for this bitterness and resentment so that his soul can actually heal, and God, for the temptation of marijuana, and that good old 'yak, would you please allow him in the name of Jesus to not get the same sensation by some ruffles and a glass of water, but, let him be able to alleviate that stress in a completely different way." In Jesus, Marxist's name we pray-

Congregation: Amen.

Tim: -amen. That's the prayer. Here's the prayers I'm sick of in church.

Congregation: Come on.

Tim: Now, I'm talking about big city church. Not just this church, all the churches. "Hey, I just need prayer. Just whatever the Lord shows you. Would you just pray into it." "Well, can you be a little more specific?" "I have just been going through some stuff. I'm just asking the Lord for some solutions." "Lord, bless them as they go through and fix it."

[laughter]

Tim: What do you want from me? I can't effectually fervently pray for you with bad intel. You can't have a sickness in your soul and be pointing to your toe. “…. put myself out there last night? It makes me uncomfortable," but you don't do that at the doctor. You did not see them graduate, you don't know how long they've been in the practice. Here you go walking in, in a gown, "Listen, I don't know, this rash has been here a while doc. I took some pictures as well. If you can-- Some of these bumps."

Congregation: [laughter]

Tim: The amount of self-restraint I am giving myself right now. You will walk in there and show him everything, and then come in here and act like, "Yes, it's just, I'm just going through some stuff." I'm telling you right now, the earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power, and produces results, but that prayer can only be earnest, and it can only have great power if it has great information. That's all. I'm so glad I got my mama's ears. Somebody said, this killed the church for a long time, unspoken prayer request. "How many people have a prayer request?"

Four people. "How many people have unspoken prayer?" Rest of the church. It was a generational thing. Do you know that the generation of most people's fathers or grandfathers was actually called the silent generation? A whole generation got labeled silence. They didn't say nothing, they didn't talk about nothing, stay at a grown folk's mouth, stay at a grown folks' business. Get out of the room when we talking, and therefore, we perpetuated generational curses because nobody ever gave us the information of what we were falling into.

Congregation: [applause]

Tim: Here we are four generations later with a generational curse that could have been literally solved with good intel. "Alcoholism runs in our family, baby. I'm just telling you right now, when you get stressed, stay away from this. Don't even sip no wine because I'm telling you, you going to wake up a monster. This goes back 17 generations. You going to catch it. We got moonshine in our blood, baby."

Congregation: [laughter]

Tim: You don't want none this in yours. I'm telling you, and what we've called generational curses, and, "Oh my goodness, this has been in our family," is we just haven't exposed in a healthy way, "Hey, listen every woman in the family had a baby out of wedlock. Somewhere around 16 to 19, they became vulnerable, and grandmama too. I know, big mama. I know. Front row, white dress, church mother. She didn't start off as a church mother, but if we're all in the dark because nobody wants to share, you know what we get? Scandal. People Magazine reports, pastor fail, TMZ reports, pastor fail, Christianity Today reports, pastor just failed. No different than anybody else.

Just never went through these steps. I have empirical data that proves that there's only one common denominator between all moral failures, and that is, they stop talking. Well, it was this pressure, and that pressure, and the other pressure. Bottom line, you stopped talking, because you thought that if I looked you in the eyes and said, "Hey, I need to share something with you, and I know that as the lead pastor of this church, me sharing this with you may bring a little bit of disappointment. You may feel like, dang, I don't even know if I want to go to this church anymore, but I really struggled last week.

There was a woman that walked in the building, and she was so attractive, I couldn't keep my eyes off her. I've already confessed it to Juliet, but I wanted to confess it to you too, because attraction is not planned. I did not plan to be attracted to this person when I saw them, but when I saw them, I have to acknowledge that my body was like, "Hey, hey." The moment that I realized that, I confessed it to God, I confessed it to Juliette, and now, I want to confess it to you, because I need the lights on. I need more than her to know because, when I'm out here in these streets, you need to know that too. Would you be praying for me? She's already praying for me, but would you be praying for me too? I really appreciate it. Oh, I feel so much better.

Congregation: That's good. Yes.

Tim: I'm trying to give y'all practical stuff so that you can survive this culture. This is not rocket science, and it ain't all going to happen because you got worship on 24/7.

Congregation: Right. Come on. That's true.

Tim: We found out last week, it only takes less than 30 seconds for you to lose your mind. Talk. Not just this way, this way, because, if you don't, you'll be forgiven, and you'll be cleansed, but you won't be healed. You can't stop a pattern by yourself.

Congregation: Amen. Good words right there.

Tim: You need help. You need a community around you that's going to ride with you.

Congregation: Yes.

Tim: If you got people around you, if one of the reasons why you haven't shared is because you're afraid of judgment, switch circles.

Congregation: Yes. That's good.

Tim: Put some healthy boundaries around yourself and toxic people so you can get the real help you need without being gaslit for the help that you need.

Congregation: That's good. Yes.

Tim: "You're going to always be like this."

Congregation: Yes.

Tim: "No, I'm not. I want peace in my mind." When I go to sleep at night, when I put my head on the pillow, I go straight to sleep.

Congregation: Me too.

Tim: Do you want to know why I go straight to sleep when I put my head on my pillow? Because anything going on in my head has come out of my mouth to someone or ones. I got people I can call and just dump. I can pick up the phone, be like, "Hey, man." "Hey, what's up?" "Got something to tell you. I don't want no feedback. I don't want no perspective. I just need you to contain me. I'm about to throw up." They're like, "All right, go." [mimics ring]

[laughter]

Congregation: That's right.

Tim: "Man, I appreciate you sharing that, and I promise I'll be praying for you." 42 minutes later, "Bye." [click] I start healing coming up in me. Thank you, Holy Spirit. We'll end on this. You ever talk to somebody? You call them for some advice? All they wound up doing is listening to you talk, and at the end you were like, "I feel so much better." That's how powerful confession is. You didn't even let them get a word in edgewise, and you feel healed and free, because you got to get it up and out through words. "I've been silent a long time, Tim. I haven't used a lot of words. How do I start?" You might want to start writing it down. You might have to read it like a prepared speech.

Once you get it on paper, get it out of your mouth through words. Your brain needs words to heal. You can't be perpetually in your feelings, because, to be perpetually in your feelings is to perpetually act out your feelings. Would you please do me a favor? Would you please be brave enough for a horizontal confession? Would you be bold enough to put your ego, pride, reputation even on the line, and saying, "I don't want to live like this anymore. I know I'm a prideful man. I'm afraid of looking stupid. I'm afraid of failure, so I have to present a certain way. I know that it's overbearing on you and the family, but this is the only way I've known how to be, and I'm not going to get healed if I don't reveal that fact.

I'm calling my own foul. I know how it's affected you and the family, and I apologize. I know how it's affected my performance at the job, and I apologize. I've been so ambitious that I've been willing to step over anybody and everybody to get to the next level. I'm calling my own foul. I cannot heal what I don't reveal. I want to be free from this. I've already said it this way, now I'm being brave enough to say it this way." Wish you bow your heads and close your eyes. I just want to give you a few moments to reflect on this. If my tone was a little firmer than usual in this message, it's because I'm just really passionate about it. If it came across angry, if that's the way you experienced me, I apologize.

It's not my intention, but I'm telling you, I just want to snatch people out of darkness. I want to snatch people out of silence, but I realized I can't snatch, you have to be willing to walk out of it. Holy Spirit, take my words, and your scriptures, and give us the boldness to speak up and speak out, help us to put our feelings into words, and help us to confess to one another so that we can pray for one another, and so that we can be healed. It is your desire that we all walk in freedom and have peace of mind. Let us not take for granted the power of confession both vertically and horizontally. In Jesus name, amen.