Happy Pentecost Sunday. All the Pentecostals ought make some noise right now. This is a special day because it is, if you're not familiar with what Pentecost Sunday is, it is a day, 40 days, 50 days after Easter in which we celebrate the outpouring of the Holy Spirit. You can read about this accountant, acts chapter two, Sarah did it for us today. Aren't you thankful for the Holy Spirit? Am I in a church that still believes in the power and the gifts and the authority of the Holy Spirit? Some of y'all want me to say it. Alright, holy Ghost, I ain't going to respond until he says ghost, but I love this. If you don't know, depending on your background and whatnot, you may not be familiar with all you have access through the power of the Holy Spirit. Let me just tell you everything that happened from the outpouring of the Holy Spirit in Acts chapter two onward was all empowered and inspired by men and women being filled with literally the Holy Spirit. Your life with Christ will be bland if you don't tap into this gift and it's a gift. Acts chapter two verse 38 says, repent and be baptize every one of you in the name Lord Jesus Christ, for remission sins and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. Here's the issue. A lot of people have the gift. They hadn't opened it.

I better sit down. I better sit down. The reason why some people haven't access to everything that you have access to is because it's like getting a gift for Christmas or for your birthday. It's your gift. You received it, you got it, but you put it in the closet or up on a shelf. Open that up and access everything that's in there. In the gift of the Holy Spirit, you will find joy, peace, righteousness, prophecy, healings. Oh Lord, happy Pentecost Sunday.

So we're in the third week of the series that we are calling. Do you mind? And last week we talked about anxiety and depression. The week before that we talked about the mindset, but I just want to prep you today. We are going to get into something that is going to make some of you feel uncomfortable and others of you are going to feel relieved that somebody's talking about it. I also want to preface what I'm about to preach with this. There are various experiences in this building. Some of you, this is the place where you came to know the Lord and I pray that you've had a great experience. I pray that you have come into what you feel like is a safe environment. We want Embassy City to be a place where you can feel the power of the Holy Spirit. You can be in community with brothers and sisters and you can feel as if you can be vulnerable and open and transparent with us. Unfortunately, for many of us, our first experience with the Lord was an environment that was not conducive with scripture and your first introduction to God. That environment has lasting effects on your spiritual, emotional and mental health. And there are individuals who are listening today who are in this building. You have not been able to fully access everything that God has for you because you are still reeling with hurts and wounds that you may not have addressed. And while for many people, Pentecost Sunday is a coverup,

More hooping and hollering, more screaming and jumping. But inwardly, you're suffocating. The Lord wants you to be healed on the inside and not try to deflect by externally always over expressing to not deal with what's happening inside. So we're going to talk about it. Is that all right? Grab your Bibles. We're going to mark chapter seven, the book of Mark chapter seven, mark chapter seven, verse number one. We're going to read down to verse number 13.

Now, when the Pharisees is gathered to him with some of the scribes who had come from Jerusalem, they saw that some of his disciples ate with hands that were defiled, that is unwashed for the Pharisees and all the Jews do not eat unless they wash their hands properly holding the tradition of the elders. And when they come from the marketplace, they do not eat unless they wash. And there are many other traditions that they observe such as the washing of cups and pots and copper vessels and dining couches. And the Pharisees and scribes asked him, why do your disciples not walk according to the tradition of the elders but eat with defiled hands? And he said to them, well, did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites? I love Jesus as it is written. This people honors me with their lips, but the heart is far from me. In vain do they worship me? Teaching as doctrines the commandments of men? Lemme say it again, teaching as doctrines, teaching as the laws of God, the commandments of men. You leave the commandment of God and hold to the tradition of men. And he said to them, you have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of God in order to establish your tradition. In other words, you make it look good,

You make it look notable. You make it look noble. For Moses said, honor your father and your mother and whoever revives father or mother must surely die. But you say, if a man tells his father or his mother, whatever you would have gained from me is Corbin that is given to God. Then you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or mother. Thus making void the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down and many such things you do. For the next little while I want to teach on my topic is the gift of peace. The gift of peace. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, we thank you so much for your goodness and your mercy. I thank you Lord for what you're doing in and among us. I thank you for the healing that's taken place in our minds. I thank you for the realignment.

I know that there are individuals in this place and watching online who are deeply wounded that need healing and I pray that before this service is over, they would find the gift of peace. We give you name the praise, the glory and the honor because you're worthy of it in Jesus name and everybody say amen. Amen. The gift of peace. A mental health concern that is more openly talked about today than has been in years past is post-traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. Let's define what it is. Post-traumatic stress disorder is a mental health condition that develops after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic or terrifying event. Now the symptoms of PTSD can include vivid flashbacks like feeling the trauma is happening right now. Intrusive thoughts or images, nightmares, intense distress at real or symbolic reminders of the trauma, physical sensations such as pain, sweating, nausea, or trembling.

Now most of us know somebody that is probably dealing with PTSD and generally when we talk about PTSD, the symptoms of PTSD are generally triggered when the individual encounters something or someone that resurfaces the traumatic experience that they had in the past. And generally when we talk about PTSD, we talk about war veterans. For instance, the veterans who have gone to battle, gone to war have come back and they hear a loud noise or something and they respond with the symptoms of PTSD or we talk about someone who has experienced domestic violence, they hear yelling and screaming and they feel an anxiousness and they have a response to that noise because it's resurfacing a trauma that they experienced in their past. Or we could talk about someone who is a sexual assault survivor, someone coming and grabbing them suddenly or hugging them or being in a tight space or being in a room that reminds 'em of that.

It can trigger a response and this is called PTSD. Now I am well aware that some of the things that I even mentioned right now is triggering some of you and I just want to say I'm sorry if that has happened to you and I pray for you that you'll receive full healing and the Lord would give you the peace that surpasses all understanding. I do. But have you ever thought about this? What if the trauma that you experienced or witnessed wasn't on the battlefield or in a dark room or at the scene of an accident? What if you are experiencing the symptoms of PTSD, but it's not brought about by a gunshot? What if you are experiencing some of these symptoms, nervousness, anxiousness, stress, being nauseous, you're experiencing these symptoms, but the thing that's triggering it is the church.

There are people in here or watching online that every Sunday you get nervous, you're stressed getting ready, you feel anxious, you feel a sense of nausea, your palm sweat. Some of you wait out in the car until service has started before you enter in because you're overcome by anxiety of entering into a place that is supposed to be the safest place on earth.

What happens when you hear a certain message or a cadence and you shut down? What happens when you hear a song and remind you of the church that you got delivered out of? What happens when you're running into people or you hear a sermon or you hear certain topics that are triggering a response from you? Now you've called it everything but trauma. You called it church hurt, you called it. Well, that was just old school or you call it. Well, that was back in the day and the reason why many of us will not call it what it is, is because we're either embarrassed. We don't want to dishonor the past. We're afraid of how family's going to feel and what ends up happening is your relationship with God is stressful and it should not be.

The reason why some of us find our relationship with God to be anxious and stressful is because you've been deeply wounded in the context of religion and nobody knows it and you're faking it until you're making it. And as long as nobody knows, you're just going about with your business. But the thing is you can't pray. It's hard for you to come to church. There are people who are watching online that the only reason why they don't come to church is because they don't want to relive a traumatic experience. Now, I want to say this, there is a big difference between the church that God instituted and manmade religion. There's a big difference between the church. God is the one who instituted the church. So when someone says, I've gone through church hurt. Really what you're saying you've gone through people hurt because the church is the institution designed by God. Yes, he uses people and people are flawed, but the church, the bride of Christ, the actual church, the spiritual body didn't hurt you. It's men and women within the context of the church who elevate their religious practices and traditions above the laws of God.

They're the ones that hurt. This is called religious trauma. Religious trauma occurs when a person's religious experience is stressful, degrading, dangerous, abusive or damaging. Traumatic religious experiences may harm or threaten to harm someone's physical, emotional, mental, sexual or spiritual health and safety. The context in which we learn about God and are educated about the gospel has a profound effect on our spiritual, emotional and mental wellbeing. Now, I understand that the conjunction of soteriology or salvation and psychology is completely complex. It is complex to think of what your mind, your physical mind is doing as it is processing the gospel. We love to talk about the gospel in a purely spiritual context, your emotional response. That's why Pentecost Sunday is damaging for a lot of people because all they're doing is responding emotionally, but they're not doing anything about internally for 364 days of the year. They're stressed out, they're emotionally wounded, they can't get along with their family, they don't know what to think about God. But then when Pentecost Sunday comes open and holler and scream, but many of us are guilty of that. Here's the thing, if you're religious, spiritual experience caused you trauma, it affects your view of the gospel, it affects your view of the Bible and your relationship with God and others is affected. Now, many of you are excited about this series because I said, Hey, we're going to combine and look at how we can integrate theology and therapy so that you can be a holistic person. But for some of us, the reason why we're in therapy is because of bad theology.

And so I am well aware that there are some people who are listening in this series and you love the therapy part, but you don't so much love the theology part because it's the theology part, the mismanagement of the Bible, the abuse of scripture, the condemnation of men and women in your life that have caused you the trauma. And here's the thing, many of us will not call it trauma.

Because we feel as though calling it trauma makes you feel weak. Here's the thing, some people, you're struggling with your mental health and it's not because of domestic violence. It's not because of a near death experience. It's not because you went to war, it's because you went through a religious traumatic experience and you've been trying to reconcile how to love God and work through the toxic things you've witnessed and experienced in the context of church.

In our passage, Jesus is addressing a group of people that are oppressed and distressed by religious people. Jesus comes and he's speaking, his general crowd is Jewish and he's speaking to the Jews, but the Jews have been oppressed mainly by two bigger sects, the Sadducees and the Pharisees. But the Pharisees would be considered the religious elite and the Pharisees were doing their best to add to the mosaic law traditions, oral traditions that would help you stay away from breaking the laws handed down by God. But the system that they built in building these traditions grew so much that there were hundreds of oral traditions and commandments that were not from God, they were from individuals, hundreds of them. And the sole purpose of these rules and regulations and traditions were to keep you living right. The problem was there were so many and there were so stringent, no body could fulfill them and yet even though they could not fulfill them, the Pharisees would condemn individuals. If they did not fulfill the traditions, they would ostracize them, they would talk about 'em, they would put 'em out, and then they begin to manipulate the system

And say, well, you may not be able to fulfill this law, but if you give then we'll let you slide. And now you have a group of people that are so oppressed by rules and regulations in the context of religion that they can't even recognize when the Messiah that they've been praying for is standing right in front of them. What happens when you elevate your traditions above the laws of God? You'll have a difficult time recognizing Jesus because all of your performance and all of your demonstration, all you think because you've been taught is earning your salvation and it's not. The Pharisees insisted that the Jews adhere to their standards and yet when Jesus comes, Jesus says, y'all are hypocrites. Religious traditions emphasize external conformance and not internal transformation. Religious traditions separate outward performance and ignore, celebrate outward performance and ignore internal work. You know how you can tell if somebody's religious, they're more concerned with how you looked than how you're doing. You know how you can tell if somebody's religious they're going to ask you about what you're wearing but won't pray for you?

So Jesus shows up on the scene and he starts rebuking the Pharisees and you know what he calls them? Hypocrites. The word hypocrite is a theatrical term for someone who is one individual that plays multiple characters in the theater. At that time in the first century, they wouldn't have a lot of actors on stage. They would generally have a few actors that would play multiple roles. And the way they would play multiple roles is they would simply change their outward garment and their mask. So when Jesus says you're a hypocrite, he's not just saying, Hey, you're saying one thing and doing another thing. He's saying you're putting on masks and changing your garment and you're trying to fool people on stage, but inwardly the cup is dirty. You're looking at the outside of the cup, but the inside of the cup is dirty. And the problem is you have convinced other people that it's more important for them to clean out the outside than to deal what's on the inside and you're manipulating them and you're preaching a message of conformity and not transformation and Jesus comes and he begins to rebuke them. And you know what he says in Matthew chapter 23? He goes, your laws and your traditions that you have elevated above the law of God. He says they tie up heavy burdens

Hard to bear and lay them on people's shoulders. The reason why so many people walk physically walk into church slumped over, physically slumped over is because they're bearing a burden of religious weight.

That somebody put on them that is not from God. Religious trauma happens when God is no longer the focus of the relationship. When the pastor thinks that his words are equal to two or greater than God's trauma will happen. Let me just clarify. I'm human. I make mistakes, I misspeak. I sin. Not you, man of God, yeah me. Ask my wife, ask my kids, they'll tell you. Right? I never want to be up here and try to play act. I'd rather tell you the truth. Now I do everything in my power and by the power of the Holy Spirit to live a life that's a good character, good integrity. I never want to bring a reproach to my family or God or the gospel, but I'm telling you I am human and don't just take my word for it. You have permission to check your Bible and inquire with the Holy Spirit. Does this? Check out when you try to be a good soldier and perform all tasks but fail, there's going to be trauma. When you think that your acceptance of God is based on your perfection, religious trauma will happen If you think that you have to earn your salvation,

Religious trauma will happen. When traditions of religion are the priority, it becomes difficult to recognize Jesus. Lemme say this, unbiblical religion produces rebellion or condemnation. Come

On you right?

Either rebellion or condemnation. There are people that are in church that are condemned every time they walk through and it's not from God, it's because someone somewhere in your church experience has convinced you that you have to earn it. So there's only one response to feeling that you either run from God, you say, you know what? I can't measure up, doesn't matter anyways, so I'm going to do all the drugs. I'm going to sleep with everybody. I'm going to wild out because if I'm going to hell anyways, you know how many friends I have. I'm about to tell you my own experience, but you know how many I know of that went so far out because in their minds they messed up anyways and they were backslidden and lost their salvation. So I might as well go do it. Let's talk about the stages of religious trauma. Number one, a person experiences a trauma. The trauma may be directly related to religion such as sexual assault by a religious leader or the use of the Bible to punish and control someone. If somebody is using the Bible to manipulate and control you and they refuse to let you search out your own salvation with fear and trembling,

Be careful. Number two is the trauma has religious implications. For instance, the effects of the trauma are processed through the lens of the person's religion. Someone going through a divorce, they've been in a domestic violent situation, this person has committed adultery on them, beaten up on 'em, have they have biblical right but they feel pressured to work harder, make unwise compromises or even tolerate abuse to keep the marriage together because the man of God said so or they're told that their connection to the community or relationship with God is at stake.

You know how many people are making compromising decisions right now that is not for your wellbeing because you are afraid of the religious implications. Here's the third stage. The response of religious community may re-traumatize religious leaders ignore or deny reports of physical, sexual, emotional, spiritual abuse. The religious community may ostracize the victim of a trauma claiming it was somehow deserved. Decreed by their God is necessary. You had to go through that or not that bad. In the grand scheme of things, how many times have we heard that? Well, it could have been worse. It shouldn't have happened that all the victim may avoid sharing their experience for fear that it could mean for their place. In the faith community, here are eight symptoms of religious trauma. Some of you who are like, did I go through religious trauma or not? I'm about to share some symptoms and if you relate to these in a real way, it may be yes. One is self-hatred, feeling like you're never enough, like you can't measure up that you will always be less than. How do you know that you've gone through religious trauma? If your experience with God and your view of yourself

In the context of the church is depriving, if you feel like you can never measure up, you can't do enough, you can't pray enough, you can't read the Bible enough, you can't and you develop a self-loathing mentality. Now there are things that have happened. I'm talking about in the context of religion. If you hear a message that's always beating you up every Sunday, there are churches every Sunday they're beating the sheep up and using the Bible to do it. Second symptom is shame. Shame is not from the Lord. Shame is not from the Lord.

Adam and Eve were created naked in the garden, unashamed. It wasn't until they disobeyed and they rebelled against God and sin exposed them that they felt ashamed. Shame occurs when you equate a negative action with who you are as a person. Many unhealthy religious communities use shame as a way to influence and control others. I've seen this many times. Instead of learning to accept responsibility for their mistakes and extending forgiveness to themselves and others, people in shame-based religions often learn to cover up or deny anything that could be considered wrong by their community. So you do things in private and then you feel shame about it and that shame cycle is what some religious communities will use against you to get what they want out of you.

Here's a third symptom is perfectionism. Some religious communities may identify certain actions or behaviors as indicative of a person's moral value and they may promote certain careers or types of families as spiritually superior. This can result in perfectionism which is often accompanied by high levels of anxiety and stress as well as the setting of unrealistic goals for hypervigilance. Some religions paint a picture of a vindictive God who punishes people whenever they fall short. These ideas may lead to heightened levels of anxiety resulting in hypervigilance. A constant state of anxiety meant to protect a person from perceived or actual threat of harm. There's some individuals you feel condemned end and like you're going to get punished by God because you missed your devotion for the day and you're stressed out and you have ruminating thoughts and you have shameful thoughts and you think that God's love for you has diminished. It's like a balloon. Once you've gone through religious trauma, it's like putting a hole in a balloon and you can blow that thing up, but it's leaking because the puncture has never been healed. Difficulty making decisions is another is the fifth one. Many who experience religious trauma are accustomed to making decisions in the context of certain doctrines or hierarchy.

There are some individuals that cannot make a decision without getting approval from a religious leader. There's nothing wrong with somebody who is spiritually equipped to give you advice or to help you navigate a situation or think through some things, but if you feel like it's got, I got to get approval, you may have been conditioned to elevate a person above God. You have the Holy Spirit inquire of him what you should do and he will give you and lead you in the right direction. And if you make a wrong turn, you made a wrong turn, God won't love you any less. Here's six loss of community. This happened to me for many. Religion provides community and if a person changes or leaves their faith, they may lose contact with many friends, family members and acquaintances. And here's what's interesting. We love to cover this one up. Well, I moved the phone still works, email still work. You left the church and everyone unfollowed you. Maybe something wrong. You moved because of location and everyone ex communicates you. Am I being real? Some people who leave their religious community may experience a season of loneliness and isolation. It can be intimidating to rebuild a community, especially if people outside their faith are often labeled evil or inferior. Number seven, you lack boundaries. Being part of a religious community, a toxic one often means accepting some amount of feedback regarding how you live your life.

I know of pastors that would go to the Saint's House just to stop in and check up on you. And here's eight, I'm not going to come to your house uninvited. Believe me, here's eight mental health disorders. Religious trauma can cause contribute to or otherwise worsen mental health disorder. Comedy associated mental illness includes post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, eating disorder, addictions. This is what Jesus was dealing with in Mark chapter seven. He was dealing with a group of people that had been under such heavy burdens of religiosity that they couldn't even function right? They didn't know how to interact with Jesus. They didn't know how to interpret what he was saying because everything he was saying, they were filtering it through what they had been taught about religion. And here's the thing, when Jesus shows up, they're stressed out, they're confused, they're anxious, they're nervous, instead of gladly receiving him because they're under the burden of religion. And for many people in this place who are watching online, it has been years of a stressful relationship with God, an anxious relationship with God, a confusing relationship with God because you're trying to reconcile was pounded into your head as the right thing.

And what you know to be the truth and how do I deal with this? Now, the reason why I want to talk about this is because I experienced religious trauma and for the longest time, I didn't call it that, I called it, well, I didn't even call it church hurt for the longest time. I just said the way I grew up. And I tried to dismiss it for years until I realized, nah, there's something deeper going on. Here's what's interesting. I struggled with this one this week. I knew what the Lord wanted me to teach about and I said, God, I'll give theological examples. I'll pull from examples that I know of, but man, I don't really want to tell my own story. And then I started to think, why do I feel this way? Why do I feel this way? So I had to process that emotion. I had to process why I was hesitant. And I realized that the reason why I was hesitant is for several reasons. One is I partially felt this may be embarrassing or vulnerable even though I was a child and I didn't have the understanding. I also partially thought, I don't want to disparage some of the few friends that I have left that are still in that environment.

I also partially thought, I don't want to dismiss things that I learned about God in that environment. I also parsely don't want to embarrass my parents.

And I talked to 'em before this service says, Hey, I'm going to talk about some stuff, but I just want you to know that I'm not coming at you. You taught me the right things, but there are some things that we experienced together that weren't conducive for a holistic relationship with the Lord.

But I feel like I need to share this because I know somebody here is listening and I know that somebody is dealing with some deep wounds and you've covered up and you hadn't talked about it. And I think that this is going to help somebody body. For a large portion of my Christian experience, I grew up in what is called holiness Pentecostal church. Now, some of you all have heard about Pentecostal churches. We're celebrating that today being filled with the spirit and all the gifts of the spirit and whatnot. But there is another branch of Pentecostalism that's called Holiness Pentecostalism. And some of you are familiar with that. Some of you grew up around holiness, Pentecostal churches. But when we first moved here from the us I mean from Germany to the us, we ended up at a church that we had some family go there. And so we went there and this was an independent apostolic holiness church. Now, what that means is there were a lot of rules and regulations that were taught as foundational to the Bible but that were not. But they were so convincing that you thought it actually was, and those things were tied

To your relationship with God, your acceptance by God, your sanctification. And if you didn't adhere to those, there is a chance that you could backslide and lose your salvation. Some of the things women, you're not going to like this one. You could only wear dresses, no makeup, no jewelry of any kind, not even wedding bands, couldn't cut your hair, had to wear sleeves a certain length, couldn't go to ball games, couldn't watch tv, couldn't go to the theater, couldn't be in sports. And all these were taught as doctrines

Now, in that church that we were in, these things were called holiness, be you holy for I am holy. And so they were interpreted as these are things that you do to live a holy lifestyle. Has anybody experienced a church like that? Good. I'm not alone. The thing is when they were taught as doctrines, what ends up happening is you believe that if you deviate from any one of these things that you, salvation is at stake. So what ends up happening is you are stressed out and you hope you don't mess up because if you do, God is going to get you, not just God. But if the pastor finds out he's going to get you. Now, it was oppressive, it was legalistic, it was spiritually abusive. And here's the thing, we went to church a lot six times a week. Tuesday night prayer, Wednesday night, Bible study, Friday night youth, Saturday night Prayer, Sunday morning, Sunday school, then another one Sunday morning worship. So really seven. And then the Sunday evening, holy Ghost revival time. And you lived in the cycle of doing church and really being ostracized, really ostracized from the rest of the world. Even though you interact with the rest of the world, you kind of felt like you were the righteous remnant. Come on, say that.

And everybody else outside the remnant was, they didn't have the fullness of the truth. So this one particular experience that I had in this environment, I was already, I was young, but I was like, man, this is stressful. But this one particular instance, the pastor at the time, there was a woman in the church that came forward and said that she had an affair with the pastor. Now of course, the pastor denied it. Then another woman came and said, no, I also had an affair. The pastor denied that one. And this is where it gets complicated because the church at large had such an unhealthy elevation of the pastor that they couldn't even fathom that he would do such a thing. Right? After multiple women came out and said they had an affair with him, he finally gets up to resign. And when he does, it was the most traumatic service ever. Pandemonium broke out in the church, people yelling and screaming, people accosting the women that accused him. So my parents were like, we got to get out of here. We ended up leaving. And shortly after he was indicted, charged and sent to prison for eight years.

Now, I had to reconcile that because I thought

This is the house of God. This is my safe space. This is where I met Jesus. This was my pastor. This is where I'm supposed to find healing. And now as a teenager, I don't know what's, what did me not doing All that stuff really helped me grow closer to Jesus did. And here I am in conflict as a 13-year-old and my relationship with God was stressful and ridden with anxiety. I would be up late at night wondering,

Did I do something that made me lose my salvation? What else do I need to do to earn it? Oh, I missed a prayer meeting. Oh God, and my relationship with God. What ended up happening? I was afraid of God. I was afraid of God. I shouted as if I was excited. But Monday, come on. I didn't want to do anything to mess up and him be displeased with me. So my relationship with God, I came to church as a performance. I prayed as a performance. I read my Bible as a performance and I was sincerely performing. It wasn't an act to me. I wasn't be a hypocrite. But the problem is I had a skewed view of God. And there are many people in here. You have a skewed view of God because you were subjected to traditions of men that were taught as the commandments of God. And even though you're on the other side, you're still dealing with PTSD. Even though you know that God loves you unconditionally, you still are living for him as if there are conditions. I thought my performance was earning my righteousness. I thought my practice of holiness standards were saving me.

And you know what I ended up doing? I ended up saying, I'm going to be the best preacher you've ever seen because if I can really hone in man, thank God's going to love me more. When I finally left that religious organization, I had done plenty of study. The Lord connected me. And this was in early on in college. I met guys that were not in the same organization and I knew that they were my brothers in Christ. Even though we had very different ways of growing up theologically, when I left that organization, you would think that I would just liberate it and I would walk in the freedom that I discovered. But for months and years, I still had a feeling that my salvation was in jeopardy because when I left, I was completely cut off from the community. I was called in many circles a heretic, backslidden, giving his heritage away. Why am I teaching this today? Because now I'm on the other side. Hold on.

But some of y'all are not. You're like an apple that's been squeezed on the outside. You still look great, but you have bruises and wounds from your traumatic religious experience that is still causing you sleepless nights, condemnation, fear, all those things. But I believe the Lord wants you to be free. And maybe it's not. You didn't grow up in the same environment that I did, but maybe you grew up in an environment where you experienced an oppression of performance and maybe it wasn't Pentecostal, maybe it was Catholicism, maybe it was Buddhism, maybe it was Hinduism. Maybe your story is different than mine. But I know that there are people here that you went through sexual trauma in that environment and the leadership convinced you to stay quiet about it because love covers a multitude of sins, hurt people, but you don't left the faith because you still want to make it to heaven. And if that is your reason, there's some trauma there. There's something there that you got to get free from. And how do you get freedom from that? I could give you a five step program. I could tell you, you got to acknowledge it, you got to talk about it. You got to go see a good Christian therapist. You got to talk with somebody that's on the other side of it. I can tell you all that and that's all great advice and you should do those things. But you know the one thing that got me through all of it

Was when I realized that the greatest gift that I had received was the Holy Spirit. And when I would be troubled in my bed, I could hear the still whisper of the Holy Spirit and he would give me peace.

It's the gift of peace. Look at what Jesus said, John chapter 14, verse number 25, these things I've spoken to you while I am still with you, but a helper, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring you remembrance. All that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. Not does the world gives. Do I give to you? Let night your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. That word peace means safety. And when Jesus says that, I'm not going to leave you alone. I'm sending you a helper. The Holy Spirit, you remember the depiction of the Holy Spirit when Jesus baptized, it's that of a dove. You know what a dove represents Peace. And I could sit here and tell you about all the gifts that you have access to through the power of the Holy Spirit. And I could tell you that you can cast out devils and you can jump higher and you can do this and you can do that. But all that means nothing if you don't have peace in your mind. Look what Jesus said.

Let not your heart be troubled. You know that word heart is the Greek word Cardeas, where we get the word cardiac or cardiology. But it doesn't mean the muscle, the heart muscle. The word heart is actually the mind. Jesus said, I'm sending you the Holy Spirit. I'm leaving you with peace. Let not your mind be troubled. Remember, he's talking to people who have been oppressed by religiosity, who are troubled, but because they're under an oppressive religious spirit and Jesus said, Hey, the one thing that's going to give you peace is the Holy Spirit. Why do you have to be filled with the Holy Spirit so you can speak in tongues more so you can feel that energy? So many people treat the Holy Spirit as an energy drink, as an octane booster. He is not your octane booster. He is your peace in the midst of your storm. He's your calm. When you are trouble, he saddles you. When you've gone through tribulation, he directs you and guides you when you're confused.

My confusion of religious practices, you know what kept me secure and safe was I knew I had the Holy Spirit. Yes sir. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Romans 1513, may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing so that by the power of the Holy Spirit, you may abound in hope. I'm here to teach somebody. You don't have to live under the condemnation and the weight, eight of religiosity. It's time to surrender that to God. It's time to get healed. Starts with being filled with the Holy Spirit and let Him help you get complete victory in your mind so that you don't have a stressful relationship with God. That's not God's intent for your life. Heavenly Father, we thank you for the gift of the Holy Spirit. We thank you Lord for the peace that surpasses all understanding. And in this moment, Lord, if there are individuals even in this place or watching online that are feeling the weight of this topic, it's because you're highlighting something. You're highlighting a burden that's on their shoulder that you're wanting to lift from them.

You're highlighting a healing journey that they need to barge on. So right now, God, we surrender to you this moment. We ask you to come and let the gift of peace, the Holy Spirit begin to settle us in. Jesus

A whisper. I am waiting on you Lord.

Oh my. All that I A I know there is no other. Your voice will call the I'm waiting on a whisper. I'm waiting on you, Lord I on you that I know your voice will call

The Whisper on for you. I wait for You.

Every word you speak, I'll hold on for I will not your promise. I for you,

Every word you speak, I’ll Hold on.

I want our alter team to come up here please. There's some people here that I feel like you need to go ahead and process, which you heard. The most difficult part

Is acknowledging it, that it happened, that you had to deal with it. But God wants to heal your wound. God wants to give you peace. God doesn't want your relationship with him to be stressful because of manmade religiosity and rules, regulations that he never intended for you to live under. So if you feel so inclined, don't leave here without praying with somebody. If this is something, if you're on the other side of it, pray for your brothers and sisters that they would get complete freedom and victory. And sometimes it's a process. It takes time. You can't be in a religious environment for 20 years and expect it to change in one day. Sometimes sanctification is a process, sometimes it takes time and we as a community want to surround you and be there with you as you do it. Alright, so this altar is open. If you need prayer, come get some prayer. If not, we love you. We'll see you here next week. Love on somebody. We'll see you.